Babble 'n Blog

Normal - Overrated or A Life Line?

2012-01-29T07:40:00.000-08:00

I’m trying to get back to normal, at least normal to me. It dawned on me recently that this past week was the first week in nearly two months that I had worked a full work week at the law firm – I’m talking a full 40 hours in the office. This loosey-goosey work schedule started with taking Thanksgiving week off, then I worked a couple of regular weeks in December. After that, it was a whirlwind of vacation days, holidays, and more vacation days, and even a sick day and a half day or two thrown in. Now it’s a couple of weeks, then we hit another long weekend in February.

I’d be lying if I didn’t admit I could get use to this schedule.
As much as I enjoy my job as a paralegal and working for the firm I’m at, I would really, really like to be home writing more. But sometimes I think I would get bored being alone all day, every day, at the keyboard. And maybe I would. I’d probably have to find something else to round out my day –exercising more might be a good start. I’d probably get out to see friends more often. My apartment would be tidier. But more truth be told, I would miss going into the office and interacting with the people at the firm and with our clients. I enjoy it and it keeps me grounded. And being grounded works best for me in the long run.

This weekend also signaled a return to normalcy. As a rule, I don’t write on Fridays. I don’t mean never, but I give myself permission to take that day off if I want. I go into the office earlier than usual, come home a bit earlier, then hang out watching TV, reading, watching movies, maybe meeting a friend for dinner, etc. Saturdays are usually spent balancing writing time with book signings and events. Sundays are a blend of writing and chores, followed by Sunday night TV. And that's exactly how this weekend is shaping up. It's on the normal track with stops at Usual and Routine.
I hate ruts, but love normalcy. Is that a contradiction or a sign of balance?

Then again, is it normal to want to spend most of my time with fictional characters that spring from my head and talk to me. That's what we writers do. We don't talk to dead people like the kid in Sixth Sense, we talk to people who don't exist, except in our minds, until we put them on paper. And even then, it's not like they have birth certificates or social security numbers. They only exist on paper because we put them there. We talk to them, cajole them, even argue with them. They become as real as the flesh and blood people we meet every day. It doesn't matter that they are ghosts, vampires, shape shifters, nosey Nellies, or homicidal maniacs. We visit them daily, as if they're favorite aunties who bakes us cookies.

Psychosis is defined as a severe mental condition in which there is a loss of contact with reality, including seeing or hearing things that aren't there.

Hmmm, maybe I shouldn't take so much time off from the office...

Games People Play

2012-01-23T00:10:00.000-08:00

All this week, the gang at Criminal Minds is sharing their favorite games and why.

I'm up today, but don't worry, the game I've chosen is strictly PG.

Disappointed already, aren't you?

Where I'd Like To Write

2012-01-09T06:46:00.000-08:00

NOT my office.

Over at Criminal Minds this week we're talking about the perfect retreat to write our best book ever. I've offered up a look at my "office." You know, the cubby where I create my books and lose my mind over deadlines. I'm also confessing to office envy and disclosing my wish list for my dream office.

Sigh ... maybe one day.

I Got Nekkid Today

2012-01-07T16:33:00.000-08:00

If you are a regular reader of this blog, then you know I love going to day spas. Today I tried something different. I visited Olympic Spa in Korea Town in Los Angeles.

OMG!!!!

I first heard about this place when one of my friends visited it a year or two back but never ventured there myself. After my Burke Williams outing last week, I realized I needed to hit the spa more often for my sanity, but my budget wouldn’t allow it. I did some online research on spas in my area and the Olympic Spa kept surfacing with rave reviews. In fact, after reading the reviews, I was convinced Odelia needed to hit that spa in one of her books – like the one I’m writing this very minute. So, yesterday I called and made an appointment for a “milky scrub.”

On the outside, the Olympic Spa looks like a dump – really it does. And the neighborhood is iffy. But once you turn into its parking lot, which offers FREE valet service, and step through its doors, it’s a whole different ball game.

I was greeted by a two smiling, young Korean women wearing tight black tee shirts with “Spa Diva” in rhinestones across their chests. One of them checked me in, took my money, handed me locker keys, and gave me a short tour. First, shoes are shed and placed in the first locker, then you move on to your clothes locker where you’ll find a cotton robe, a bath towel and a hand towel. You’ll also notice that the dressing area and lockers are spotless and most of the women are nude. Yes, naked as in butt nekkid as the day they were born. A few wear the robes, some hold towels in front of themselves, but modesty is shed at the door. Once you enter the bathing area, nudity is not an option, but mandatory. No bathing suits allowed. I arrived just minutes after it opened and there were already a dozen or so women there, all shapes and sizes and colors. Most seemed middle aged. About half were Asian. No one seemed bothered by being naked and soon neither was I. By the time I left nearly 3 hours later, the place was getting crowded and there were a lot more young women.

The bathing area is very compact. Showers are off in one corner and not private. The walls are beige tile, the floor is textured concrete. It’s hot and steamy and smells of earthy herbs. In the main area there is a hot whirlpool, a cold dip pool, and a mugwart tea bath. I LOVED the mugwart bath! It’s a very hot tub in which mugwart and angelica herb infused tea is added to the water. At the end are two doors, one leading to the dry sauna, the other to the steam room. Down the middle of the room is a long, very low concrete trough. Here, naked spa goers sit on low plastic stools next to the trough and give themselves a DIY scrub, rinsing with water scooped from the trough with large plastic bowls. Trust me, I am not making this up. Since I had a scrub scheduled, I skipped the trough.

Unlike other spas I’ve been to, the treatment rooms are not private. There were three semi-private treatment areas separated from the main bathing area by four-foot tile covered walls, and one large treatment area that held four treatment tables. These were where the scrubs and massages were administered by Korean women wearing flip-flops and basic black bras and panties.

After showering, I set up a routine of mugwart bath, cool down, steam, shower, mugwart, cool down, steam, shower, etc. until it was time for my milky scrub and my attendant (Lee) called my locker number. My scrub was to be in the room for four, and, believe me, you soon forget you’re not in a private room. At Lee’s instruction, I hoisted myself up on a table covered with a brown/black/red/cream plaid vinyl and laid face down.

From reading the reviews, I knew Lee was going to attack my skin with rough exfoliating mittens and a milk wash, and I knew she was going to scrub EVERYWHERE (anymore disclosure would be TMI), but I was not prepared for how rough the initial scrubbing would be. OUCH! It felt like wet sandpaper being run over my skin. But soon I got used to it and relaxed and it felt great. Lee started with my left foot and worked up from there on that side, around my neck and shoulders and back down the right side. I looked over to see gobs of brown mud on my arm, then realized it was sloughed off dead skin. Lee rinsed me off by sloshing a large plastic bowl of warm water over me, then scrubbed again going in the opposite direction. After another rinse, I was told to flip over and she repeated the process on my front, then on my left side, then my right side. Once done, she put me back face down and scrubbed again, but this time more with less vigor and using a satiny body scrub. When all sides received this treatment, she washed my hair.

My hair had been washed and cut just hours before, but not washed like this. After applying the shampoo, Lee scrubbed my scalp, digging her talented fingers into my head in the most wonderful way. That was followed by conditioner applied in the same manner. Soon she sat me up, squirted some cream into my palm from a tube and told me to go shower and wash my face with the cream. Done with that, she gave me a clean, dry towel.

This morning I was a little bummed that I couldn’t afford to do a full package with massage and scrub, but I gotta say, after the tough-love scrubbing Lee gave me, I felt like I’d received a massage too.

In the dressing area there is a large raised “stage.” The floor is made of jade tiles and are heated. If you want to relax further, you can grab a hard, square pillow and a blanket and lay down on the floor. Most women here wore their robes, including me. I used the pillow, but threw my towel over me instead of the heavy blanket, and snoozed for about 15-20 min. After that I drank more tea and got dressed to leave. My aching muscles no longer ache and every inch of my body is smooth and glowing.

Today cost me $60 total. Last week’s spa trip cost me $50, and that was in addition to using a gift certificate and receiving less attention. It's only $15 to use Olympic Spa's facilities without buying an additional service.

Unlike fancy spas, Olympic Spa does not offer bells and whistles like cucumber infused water or lavender soaked cool facecloths. There's no piped in New Age music, plants or candles. They offer water from a fountain, herbal tea and coffee. Their robes are thin cotton instead of thick terry. But they are incredibly clean, the attendants nice (even though they hardly speak English) and parking is FREE (in LA that’s a BIG DEAL).

And as a bonus, you’ll receive a valuable lesson in accepting your body, and that's priceless.

Olympic Spa, I will be back!

Posting By Proxy

2011-12-28T14:00:00.000-08:00

It’s no secret that many celebrities, politicians, and even authors hire people to compose and send out Twitter and Facebook posts under their name. Not too long ago there was even a case where a well-known person fired the employee who was posting his tweets, but forgot to change his account password after, allowing the ex-employee to continue to send out short messages of an unflattering nature.

From time to time I get asked if that’s really me tweeting and posting to Facebook. Even my manager has been asked if she posts those tidbits on my behalf.

Do you really think I pay someone to post about B’s habit of pooping on the bathroom rug? Or have room in my budget for someone else to post about letting my hair go gray? Or to even share my joy over a newly released book or new contract?

Nope that’s all me, all the time.

I don’t want to throw stones at colleagues who do hire PR people to write and send their posts. For some, it’s a matter of saving time while still connecting with their readers. For others, it’s a distaste for social media in general. But social media posting is my way of connecting personally with readers. Those posts only take a few minutes out of my day and through them I get to know a lot of the good folks who read my books. And there is an additional bonus. Several of those “friends” and “followers” have become real friends over time.

I spend a lot of time alone at the computer. My schedule and budget do not allow for me to do many book events outside the Los Angeles area. So without social media, I’d never be able to get up close and personal with my readers. Using someone else to make that connection would short change me of that pleasure.

By the way, I also answer all of my reader mail personally, though that takes more time.

So, yes, Virginia, there really is a Sue Ann Jaffarian. She lives with two cats named B and Raffi in a 3rd floor apartment without AC on the west side of Los Angeles, and works as a paralegal in a LA law firm.

And she spends 15-30 minutes on average a day on Twitter and Facebook trying to keep in touch with everyone.

Another Freaking Resolution.

2011-12-26T09:31:00.000-08:00

This week over at Criminal Minds, we've been tasked with announcing our New Year's Resolutions. This year I came up with a new one. Considering all my prior ones have not made it very far past January 1st, let's see how this %$#@* one does.

Not Your Usual Christmas Greeting

2011-12-22T08:39:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was my 59th birthday. For me it’s a milestone. While most people fret about turning 30, or 40 or 50, I always focused on 29, 39, and 49. The last year in a decade is like standing on the precipice of a cliff, wondering if I’ll jump or be pushed into the next chapter of my life.

Let me be frank, this has been a rough year for me, starting with last December. The last 12 months have been fraught with annoying physical ailments, some of which were serious scares, but which, much to my relief, turned out to be of a more minor nature. In February, I had my first bad fall, something all people worry about as they get older. It was my body letting me know it needs better care as it ages.

I know many folks have had a much worse year than I have, and I don’t want to sound like a whine-ass. I’m just saying last year can leave any time now, the sooner , the better.

This last year the IRS and I had a battle royal. They seem to think I make a lot more income than I do and for months they bullied and beleaguered me, even though I was cooperating fully. Finally, I was able to get help from the good folks from Taxpayers Advocate. I won’t go into details, but the IRS seemed determined to either see me living on the street or on a slab in the morgue. We settled for somewhere in between. (When I start screaming and swearing about corporate greed and financial injustice supported by our government, trust me, I mean it!) It took nearly 8 months for me and the IRS to come to an agreement. 8 freaking months of government incompetence and bullying.

As many of you who follow this blog have caught on, I suffer from depression from time to time. Sometimes it’s mild, sometimes it’s severe, but it’s never continuous. It’s more like spots of red wine on a white table cloth.

For the most part, I’m a pretty happy and stable person, and very productive. But for about 5 months in 2011, my depression was so severe, I couldn’t write, could barely work, barely could get out of bed. So severe, I thought seriously about finding a slab on which to rest my head. I was crying all the time – at work, at home, at my computer. I even had to take some time off work because of it. My close friends were horrified by how deep I’d plunged. Much of this long bout was predicated on my IRS problems and the feeling that I was being torn apart by hungry pit bulls. When you see no resolution to a severe problem, depression raises its head like a poked vicious dog.

Not to worry. I came out of the blackness about two months ago, and I look forward to the books and stories I need to write and contracts for new books with great anticipation. And I’m not writing this blog post for sympathy. I’m writing it in the hope of bringing awareness to a serious problem. I’ve suffered from some form of depression since I was a teenager, and I know I’m not alone. And neither are you. And you know if I’m talking to you.

I love Christmas! It’s a time when I come out of myself and celebrate and connect with others. The holidays and the promise of a New Year always bring me out of my doldrums. But statistics tell us that the holidays are the most serious time for depression for most people. That there are more suicides this time of year than at other times. Add to that the current financial climate, unemployment, and increase in alcohol consumption, and it becomes a ticking bomb big enough to take out half a city.

If you suffer from depression, know you are not alone. Get the help you need and keep fighting the good fight. Take it from me, there is always light at the end of the tunnel, even if you're wearing a blindfold.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to gleefully jump into my 60th year! Yeee Haaa!

Wishing all of you a Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and a Healthy and Bright New Year!!

JAFFARIAN WINS EDGAR!???

2011-12-12T05:58:00.000-08:00

No, I didn't really win the most coveted (and ugliest) award in mystery writing. I've never even been nominated, but this week on Criminal Minds, we've been tasked with writing an acceptance speech for one of our favorite authors. At the risk of coming off arrogant, I wrote my acceptance speech.

A gal can dream, can't she?

Remembering the Forgotten

2011-12-07T08:20:00.000-08:00

1,639 bodies will be laid to rest at 9:00 am in Los Angeles County today. No, they weren’t the victims of a terrorist attack or a massive accident or act of extreme nature. These individuals were the victims of poverty and loneliness and anonymity. They are the forgotten dead of the county in which I live and work.

According to a news article in the Los Angeles Times, every year Los Angeles County buries corpses in a mass grave, if after two to three years of storage the bodies remain unclaimed. Mostly the deceased are homeless people and people without families. Some remain unclaimed because their families are too poor to provide a fitting burial. Considering the dismal economy, I’m sure LA isn’t the only place in the country with this problem.

Today is also Pearl Harbor Day – a day of remembrance for those who died in the Japanese attack on our country seventy years ago. 2,403 people died that day.

In all the hubbub of the holiday season, the race against deadlines, and the headlong thrust to greet a New Year, I intend to pause today to honor the lives of 4,042 souls. Some we remember every year, but this year I’ve added 1,639 more to my list.

No matter how they died or what their status, these individuals deserve a moment of honor and respect, too.

29 and NOT Holding!

2011-12-05T06:59:00.000-08:00

Starting today it’s pedal to the metal on my WIP – the 7th Odelia Grey novel. It’s due on January 1st, which means January 3rd , since the 1st is a holiday and the 2nd a day off from the office for me. Believe me I’ll that need extra time on the 2nd! I’m already on an extension from my publisher, so I can’t push the calendar any further.

This poor book has been beset by so many problems, you’d think it had been visited by the seven Biblical plagues. It’s no wonder it’s behind schedule. But it’s not the book itself that has issues, but the author. This year has been a humdinger, and I can’t wait for it to be done with.

I started book #7 ages ago, but one thing after another kept interfering with its progress. For starters, my work schedule at the office was heavier than usual and I put in longer hours. It also seems I had one ailment after another, starting with last December, and even now am fighting a tooth abscess and waiting to schedule a root canal. Thankfully, nothing turned out to be major, but all set me back time wise, especially a bad fall I took in February in Atlanta. Top that off with some other personal issues and you have writing schedule disaster. First Gem of a Ghost was turned in late, now Odelia #7 is tardy. I’ve pretty much spent all of 2011 limping after the calendar. And this year I only had 2 books due, instead of my usual 3. (Whew!)

It happens to all writers. I know authors who have turned in books 6-12 months late. I’m not sure how their publishers deal with that since schedules for catalogues and marketing are set far in advance, but I’m doing my very best to hit my publisher’s extended January deadline.

The problem with a book getting interrupted by bumps in the author’s life is that you can lose focus of the story. That happened to me with this Odelia book, something I realized this weekend as I was slogging away on it. I use the term “slogging” specifically because that’s what it felt like each time I sat down at the computer. Usually my writing flies, but these past few weeks it has dragged like a dead body caught under a mob car.

So what’s a harried author to do?

On Saturday afternoon I stopped working on the manuscript and went back to page 1, paragraph 1, word 1. I started from the beginning, editing and reading and taking notes along the way. And it’s a good thing. Seems what I was writing later in the novel was in conflict with the beginning of the book. I also noticed that the beginning, while still needing editing, was tighter and much more focused and more fun to read. The chapters I had been working on seem rushed and scattered in comparison.

As of this morning, I’ve edited everything I have to date and it’s flowing well and is consistent. I’m back on track.

I’m still not settled on a title for this book. I have a couple in mind, but nothing that jumps out at me. I’m sure between my publisher and I, we will come up with something fun.

So please excuse me now, I have to get a book done in … um … 29 days.

GULP!

Excess Baggage

2011-11-30T08:46:00.000-08:00

We've all heard the phrase "what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas." The problem with my trip to Las Vegas last week was that what happens in Los Angeles, didn't stay in Los Angeles.

On the Midnight Ink blog, Under Cover of Midnight, I give a peek into just who, or what, haunted me on my trip to Sin City.

Vacation Hangover

2011-11-28T07:15:00.000-08:00

Everyone should see Bodies

Today is Monday, November 28th. I've been off work a week - well only 3 work days since Thanksgiving was included my week off. But today, in about 2 hours, I'll be heading out the door to the office to be a paralegal again. I had a great time this past week, but it went by way too quickly.

Last Monday I took off for Las Vegas to do research for a new Granny Apples mystery and to get a little R&R. It's a 4-1/2 hr drive from my house and I spent the time going and coming listening to A Dirty Job by Christopher Moore. It's hysterical and the hours flew by.

KA - Took my breath away

I stayed at the Luxor because they were offering a screaming deal, complete with a choice of shows. The Luxor was the only disappointment in the entire trip. I had to move rooms because of a plumbing problem and the service throughout the hotel was inconsistent. Not sure I'd stay there again, unless it was another great deal. For more money, I'd rather go elsewhere. Although, I did have a terrific time in their spa and took advantage of their massage/facial special.

As I said, my trip was also to do research for a new book. One day I got in my car and traveled throughout the area, taking in the communities around Las Vegas that could be taken for any suburb any where. I also visited the Venetian Hotel (my favorite to hang out at), which will be included in the book, and traversed Las Vegas Blvd. from the strip to downtown looking for sites to place certain scenes. I found them!

Inside the Atomic Museum

I took in the Atomic Museum (will also be in the book), Bodies Exhibition and Titanic Exhibit (both fabulous). And what's Vegas without shows?! I saw Cirque du Soleil's KA and Menopause - the Musical (again, both great).

Thanksgiving night I was back home. The rest of the week, I relaxed, did some housework and wrote and wrote and wrote. All in all, it was a very successful vacation.

Oh, and while I was gone, my new Kindle Touch arrived! I'm so excited! I got it all set up and am loving it. It was my birthday present to myself.

Now it's back to business.

Speaking of business, today I'm up at Criminal Minds talking about the risks I took to be a writer. And there were plenty of them. Check it out.

Coming Out As A Writer

2011-11-14T06:12:00.000-08:00

Yesterday GHOST IN THE POLKA DOT BIKINI topped the best seller chart for Kindle books, beating out John Grisham, Stephen King and the Steve Jobs biography. Oh, yes, it did! And as I write this blog, it's still #1. It's like a magical dream.

With all the excitement, it seems appropriate that today on Criminal Minds I'm discussing coming out as a writer to my family. Drop on by and leave a comment.

I also want to send a special shout out this morning to one of my devoted blog readers, Gregory Shipman, a gentleman who works in Alaska. Greg tells me he reads my blog while having his morning coffee.

THANKS, GREG! Keep reading and leaving your wonderful comments!

Celebrating the 4th in February?

2011-11-12T09:49:00.000-08:00

A lot of folks have recently asked if I've stopped writing my Holidays From Hell short stories. It's only natural since the last story, Where's Your Daddy, appeared almost 2 months ago.

So here's the scoop...

No, I haven't stopped writing my Holidays From Hell short stories. I have at 5-6 more planned and the next one, Rockets Red Glare, is partially written.

Why the delay? I'm glad you asked!

My short stories are not under contract. My Odelia books are. Right now I'm hurtling through the calendar trying to finish up Odelia #7 by the end of the year. This sounds like a simple thing, right? But it's not. You see, life gets in the way of all good plans and deadlines. In the past few weeks I've been given a major project at the law firm. One that has demanded at least 10-hr days, every day. That leaves precious time for writing. I'm still moving forward on Odelia #7, and I'm also reading the proofs for Granny Apples #3, Gem of a Ghost, but Zelda Bowen and her clan will have to celebrate their dysfunctional holidays a little late.

This past Sunday I asked several followers of the Holidays From Hell series if they minded reading about the Fourth of July or Thanksgiving several months after the actual holiday. All assured me they did not. They were more concerned about the series continuing. (YAY!) I'm hoping that's the general consensus.

I'm not sure when Rockets Red Glare will be finished and released, but it will not happen in 2011.

I also want to thank all of you who have purchased and supported Holidays From Hell. The three stories continue to sell well on both BN.com and Amazon.com. THANK YOU!!!

Once the Holidays From Hell series is complete, I'm going to be writing and publishing another short story e-book series. This one will be completely different and paranormal. The plan is for it to debut in early summer of 2012. Or maybe late summer 2012. Or maybe fall of 2012. Hard to say, given life gets in the way.

Have You Hugged Your Favorite Author Today?

2011-11-01T08:59:00.000-07:00

Today, November 1st, is National Author's Day. No, really. We have our own special day. And since you asked, here is a bit of historical background on it:

Nov 1. This observance was adopted by the General Federation of Women’s Clubs in 1929 and in 1949 was given a place on the list of special days, weeks and months prepared by the US Department of Commerce. The resolution states in part: “By celebrating an Authors’ Day as a nation, we would not only show patriotism, loyalty, and appreciation of the men and women who have made American literature possible, but would also encourage and inspire others to give of themselves in making a better America.” It was also resolved “that we commemorate an Authors’ Day to be observed on November First each year.”

While I'd like to think I'd make a few readers' lists of favorite authors, I have my own: Walter Mosley, Charles Dickens, Naomi Hirahara, Kelli Stanley, Megan Abbott, Terry McMillan, John Irving, Upton Sinclair, Lisa Scottoline. This list is by no means complete. It's just a start. If I listed all my favs, I'd never make it out the door this morning.

Today is also the kickoff of NaNoWriMo, the annual novel writing marathon. For the entire month of November, participants push to complete 50,000 words on a novel. By the way, there is no time off for Thanksgiving. Writing while stirring the turkey gravy or peeling potatoes is all part of the process.

I don't participate personally in NaNoWriMo, but every November finds me on a crushing deadline to finish a book by the end of the year. 2011 is no different. While NaNoWriMo participants are struggling to complete their 50,000 words, I'll have my sorry ass glued to my chair to finish Odelia #7. It's my own personal NaNoWriMo competition. I figure if I write 50,000 words this month, the book will be beyond done and I'll have a little breathing room for editing.

On my mark. Get Set. GO!

But don't forget to give me my hug. I'll need it.

Don't Be Mad, Granny...

2011-10-31T06:46:00.000-07:00

In honor of Halloween, at Criminal Minds this week we're naming our favorite ghost. You might be surprised at mine (the photo to the left is a big hint).

Granny Apples got her nose a little bent out of shape over my post.

Don't be mad, Granny, you're still the ghost of my heart.

Wonk It To Me!

2011-10-23T15:10:00.000-07:00

This year is the 40th anniversary of the movie Willie Wonka & The Chocolate Factory. I'm not talking about the creepy Tim Burton/Johnny Depp version (at least I found it creepy), but the wonderful 1971 movie starring Gene Wilder.

Today Willie Wonka & The Chocolate Factory was playing on the Family Channel on TV, and even though I had a To Do List as long as Shaq's leg, I stopped what I was doing and watched it. Of course, I'd seen it before, several times, but there's something special about turning 40, especially if you are a beloved movie starring one of my favorite comic actors.

Wonka's kids now - "Charlie Bucket"
is next to Gail Simmons

A few weeks ago I was watching Top Chef Just Desserts and the actors who played the children in the 1971 movie were guests. The challenge for the chefs was to create an edible and fanciful environment in honor of the movie's 40th birthday. The chefs knocked themselves out with great success. You can catch that episode in rerun if you have On Demand.

Okay, time to get back to tackling housework and the several writing projects crowding my plate. But for 2 hours, it was great to get lost in the world of pure imagination. Not that I don't do that with my books, but my novels don't have chocolate waterfalls and edible wallpaper. Trust me, I've checked.

A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men. - Willie Wonka

Haunted By Books

2011-10-17T06:50:00.000-07:00

On Criminal Minds today, I'm listing books that haunt me. For better or for worse, no matter how many years go by, I just can't get something about them out of my mind.

Are you haunted by something you've read?

Things That Go Bump In The Night - In My Bathroom

2011-10-14T08:01:00.000-07:00

Today I'm guest blogging at Mystery Fanfare's Frightful Fridays, talking about the creepy, cool things that go on in my bathroom.

Come on by and leave a comment to enter to win a copy of BAITED BLOOD - just in time for Halloween!

Seems I'm not the only one with spooks in the powder room. This photo is of a bathroom in Alabama.

Doctor, I'm Up To My Ass In Alligators Again

2011-10-10T07:39:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning thinking about fear. I didn't wake up fearful or following a bad dream, but as I lounged a few extra minutes in bed cuddling with Raffi (that's a cat, for those of you not in the know), my mind started contemplating the manifestation of fear.

Clowns are a big fear image for some folks. Not for me. Personally, I'm rather ambivalent about clowns. Some are cute, some are creepy. I've been a clown for Halloween in the past and I've clowned around. No problems with either.

If there is one thing that scares the pee out of me it's alligators and crocodiles. Snakes, too. Hmm, guess you could say I'm not too keen on reptiles in general. Years ago, after reading Where Serpents Lie by the very talented T. Jefferson Parker, I had nightmares for weeks. Just mentioning that book's title still sends shivers up my spine. Last week on Dexter, tiny black snakes crawled out of dead body and I nearly latched my fingernails to the ceiling.

My serious fear of snakes aside, it's alligators that cause me to curl into the fetal position and whimper. Even watching them on TV will make me break into a cold sweat. Much as clowns do to other folks. You'd never find me living in Florida. Period. Even if I was guaranteed the creatures were hundreds of miles away and I lived in the concrete heart of a city. I'd have the same issues with Louisiana.

When I'm fearful about something in my life, whether it be a physical threat or an emotional one, those fears manifest themselves into dreams about alligators. In dreams they have chased me across docks, through woods, and once even around a kitchen. When I have a dream about an alligator, I know to stop and examine what is scaring me and why, and I try to work out a way to make the fear go away through resolution. I guess, in a strange way, the dreams do me a big favor. The fear of having more of them, forces me to address my issues head on and quickly.

My Mom had a purse identical to this.

I don't know where this fear came from or when it started, but my first remembrance of dreams involving maniacal alligators is from my late twenties. As a kid, I went to the old alligator farm that used to be next door to Knott's Berry Farm, and I was fine. No one had to put me down with a tranquilizer gun because I started screaming hysterically. But even then I was suspicious of the creatures. I remember my mother having a shoulder bag when I was very little. It was made from the skin of a small alligator, complete with the head, claws and teeth. I don't recall that bothering me.

One of my favorite phrases is "up to my ass in alligators." I use it all the time, especially when I have a writing deadline nipping at me, like now. I can easily picture my short, chunky legs churning up the pavement as an ancient reptile gives chase, its 10" razor teeth inches from my fat behind. Does it make me write faster? Probably.

What's your fear manifestation: white bread, okra, turtles, kitties? Everyone has them, but not everyone recognizes them.

I just hope one day I don't dream of an alligator coming after me with a clown on its back.

Dead Nudes in My Future?

2011-10-03T06:23:00.000-07:00

Yes! At least if I have anything to say about it.

DEAD NUDES is the working title of a novel I've been wanting to write for several years now. Next year I don't have quite as many deadlines as I've had in years past, so maybe, just maybe, I'll finally be able to carve out some time to write this story. You can read an excerpt of it at Criminal Minds.

Read Banned Books - It's Your Civic Duty!

2011-09-25T10:00:00.000-07:00

Today kicks off BANNED BOOK WEEK! I love this annual event. It reminds me of two things: 1) of all the great books I haven't yet read; 2) how stupid people can be.

Let's address #2 first because in the great tradition of #2, it shits. Books should not be banned. What is vulgar or inflammatory to some, might be the perfect cup of tea to others. While I do understand that parents have a right to monitor what their child reads, to place a book on the challenged or banned list simply because it affronts your personal tastes does not mean everyone should be deprived of the wonder found between its pages.

When I read through the list of challenged and banned books, I am stunned. Most of them are books that teach great lessons about life, especially about tolerance. I am proud to say I have read a large number of them over the years, most during my school years. From an early age, I was allowed to read most anything I could get my hands on and could understand. And I am the better for it.

If you don't want your child to read a particular book, tell the teacher and together find an alternative, but don't try to deprive everyone of a wonderful and mind expanding experience because of your narrow view of the world. That's simply selfish. And, frankly, you're not the boss of me and everyone else.

Every year on Banned Book Week, I check the lists for a book I haven't yet read. This year's pick is I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou. I'm actually ashamed I haven't read this book. But this week that error will be corrected.

Won't you join me by picking and reading a banned book this week, and maybe even several others during the next year? I consider it my civic duty.

To help you along, here are some links to books that have been banned or challenged.

Classics

Banned Books in the US

ABFFE's List of Banned Books

Happy Reading!

GEM OF A GIVE-A-WAY

2011-09-12T06:16:00.000-07:00

WIN a signed copy of the unedited manuscript of GEM OF A GHOST, the 3rd Granny Apples mystery. This book is not due out until February 2012, but one lucky winner will receive this prize the first week in October!

This contest is only open to members of the Facebook Sue Ann Jaffarian Fan Club. If you're not a member, there's time to join.

Contest details can be found on the Special Events Page of my web site.

Stars In The Eyes Causes Blindness

2011-09-08T09:18:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, a friend who has written for years but has never been published announced she and another friend were going to write something and self-publish it. She didn’t even have a strong idea of what they were going to write, just that they were going to go full steam ahead. When I cautioned her about understanding all the cons, as well as the pros, of self-publishing, she accused me of trying to knock the stars out of her eyes and steal away her hope.

That was partially true. Being a big fan of hope, I’d never dash anyone’s hope, but I was trying to knock the stars out of her eyes. At least just enough for her to see the reality of self-publishing more clearly.

This stars-in-the-eyes attitude is typical of a lot of people who think self-publishing is the road to instant success. While it is a viable path, for every Amanda Hocking there are thousands of broken dreams and bodies strewn along the roadside. That's the reality. That doesn't mean my friend will become one of those dead bodies, just that the odds are against her becoming the next Amanda Hocking. It takes a shit load of work just to fall somewhere in between. Even seasoned, traditionally published authors who are now doing the self-publishing route will tell you that.

My friend accused me of trying to discourage her.

Not so. I strongly encouraged her to go for it, but not before she did some homework on the process and the costs involved such as editing, cover art, formatting, ISBNs, pricing structure, marketing, etc.

“What’s an ISBN?” she asked.

My point exactly.

This gets said somewhere on the web at least a thousand times a day, but it bears repeating:

If you are thinking about self-publishing your work, be it a novel, short story, or non-fiction, do it with hope, but don't do it blindly. Know what it's going to take, in addition to the actual writing, to get the job done professionally. Learn the business. Learn the process. Understand you're bucking the odds. Then go forth, knowing that with that knowledge you're at least wearing a mouth guard and jock strap.

The Hilly Holbrook Syndrome

2011-09-06T07:11:00.000-07:00

This weekend I finished reading The Help by Kathryn Stockett. Well, actually, I didn’t “read’ the book. I listened to it on audio book. I sometimes find certain books are even more enjoyable to listen to than read. Take On Writing by Stephen King. I started reading this book years ago and a friend told me to listen to it instead. While the book was very enjoyable, it was no match for the audio format, which Mr. King reads himself. It was like sitting at the feet of the master while he imparted his personal story and writing words of wisdom.

The Help was like that. The chapters of the three main characters – Aibileen, Skeeter and Minny – were read by wonderfully talented actresses. In fact, the Minny chapters were read by Octavia Spencer, the actress who plays Minny in the movie. For hours I was transported into their lives as if I were a fly on the wall.

I loved this book. It made me laugh. It made me cry. It made me angry. I was around 11-12 years old during the timeline of the story and I remember most of the historical events woven into the novel. At the time and given my age, I’m sure I didn’t realize the importance of the news stories, but I do remember police turning fire hoses and dogs on civil rights protesters, and the integration of schools, the church bombings, and certainly the assassinations of both Medgar Evers and JFK.

When I was in the 3rd grade my family travelled to South Carolina from Massachusetts. We were actually en route to California but stopped in South Carolina where one of my aunts lived. For a short while my parents considered settling there. I don’t remember how long we lived there, but it was long enough for my mother to enroll us kids in school and for both my father and mother to seek work.

My mother had to fight to get my brother and me into the all-white schools. My father was 100% Armenian and we had olive skin. It was the first time I’d ever heard the word “passing” and realized what it meant. School was miserable. In spite of good school records, I was dumped into the slow class where many of the students were older because they had been held back, some several times. No one would speak to me or play with me at recess. I was picked on by both students and teachers. I wasn’t just dark skinned. I was also a “Yankee.” A double whammy of horror. My brother and father had their problems, too, and it wasn’t long before we packed the station wagon and headed for California, where I finished out the school year.

But something else about The Help also struck a chord in me. I call it the Hilly Holbrook syndrome.

It doesn’t matter where you’re from or the color of your skin or what your generation, we have all known Hilly Holbrooks throughout our lives. These are the girls who exercised power and control over other girls at a very early age right into adulthood. They decided if your time on the playground or between classes would be fun or hell on earth. Other girls worshipped them, some out of blind wannabe devotion and need for acceptance. Others out of fear. One kind word from “Hilly” and your life among your peers could be tolerable, even happy. One nasty word, and a school year could be a sentence to hell. They wielded their power with capricious irresponsibility. Sometimes wearing an old dress or having the wrong shoes could trigger the attack. Other times it stemmed from jealousy over a boy or attention received from others. Or simply because the target is deemed different.

We read all the time about kids snapping over bullying. Some lash out, as with Columbine. Others get dragged into bad decisions. And some even take their own lives. Yet, the Hilly Holbrooks of the world survive to terrorize the next kid unfortunate enough to fall within their path.

Years later these same warped people (men and women) hold court within clubs, charities, churches, associations and the workplace. Even Congress. People seldom outgrow a bullying nature developed and reinforced at a young age. Over the years, they learn to develop it, becoming more astute and stealthy at wielding their power and poison.

The Hilly Holbrook character in The Help was as real and disturbing as the central topic of prejudice. While most readers might have found her ridiculous and laughable, and entertaining, she could and did ruin lives because no one stepped in to defy her early on. She did it because she could. Just as real life bullies continue because they can. Bullies only stop when no one gives them a platform and a spotlight.

The tag line for the movie The Help is: Change begins with a whisper.

Personally, I think there's been enough whispering. I think it's time for shouting.

Finding My Inner Kraken

2011-08-31T08:13:00.000-07:00

There are 33 days left before my deadline to turn in Odelia #7 to my publisher. Yep, 33 days... count 'em.

So guess what I did last night?

Go ahead, guess.

Give up?

I dumped almost everything I'd written so far on the manuscript.

Oh, yes, I did... I slaughtered and butchered it. Ran it through with a sword. Spit on it and ground it up in the garbage disposal. It was a major blood bath.

Why? Because I hated it. And because I hated it, I knew my readers would either hate it or be disappointed in it. And I can't have that.

Since late April, early May, I've been going through a lot of issues. Some things have been merely needed changes (see my post on changes in my writing direction), others have been more serious and personal in nature. It seems that the only somewhat stable ground I've had for the past few months has been my job at the law firm, and for that I'm very thankful. There are still problems, but I'm working through them, making needed adjustments, and finally seeing the light.

But sometime during these past few months, I also lost my mojo. My writing spark. My creativity. I lost what makes my work tick. But I was on deadline, so what's a gal to do? Well, this gal plodded along, dutifully putting words to the page. Problem was, my heart wasn't in it and so the words were flat and dull. And Odelia is never flat or dull.

Sometime in the past week, something snapped. I'm not sure what brought it about, but suddenly something inside me reawakened. I was Rip Van Winkle opening my eyes and shaking off a very long snooze. I looked at my various works in progress and thought, "Who wrote this shit?"

It started with my 3rd Holidays From Hell short story, Where's Your Daddy? I'd been stumbling along on it for quite some time. Usually I work on the short stories during lunch at the office, so not to interfere with my novels. They are about 20-22 pages in length, but I had 16 pages of pure poop when the scales finally fell off my eyes. Crap! Crap! Crap!

I rolled up my sleeves and started rewriting, totally restructuring and remolding the plot. It didn't take long, just a couple of days of focused determination. When it was finished and sent off to my early readers and proofers, they came back saying it was the best story yet. They wouldn't have said that about the manuscript a week ago. Where's Your Daddy? will be available on Nook and Kindle in the next few days.

Next, I took an honest look at Odelia #7. First off, you know there's a problem when I don't even have a working title for a work in progress. Hell, I already have a working title for Odelia #8! Anyway, I read what I'd put down so far and cried. It was simply awful.

So last night I tucked away my 1st draft of Odelia #7 and tonight I'll start on the second draft. It starts with the same first paragraph - that was definitely a keeper - and it will still contain the same characters and plot idea. But the rest goes! Yes, all of it but the first paragraph. Gone!

So, everyone get out of my way! I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaak! And I've got 33 days to kick ass on the page.

Unleash the Kraken!

(I've always wanted to say that.)

Gray Matter

2011-08-29T08:23:00.000-07:00

My last color job 8/13/11

My last post was about changes to my writing career. But why stop there? Once on a roll, I believe in letting the momentum continue. So stay tuned for changes in me. Specifically, changes in my hair.

I started coloring my hair with permanent color in my early 40's. I had some gray, but not a lot. Just enough to make me cringe. Before that I got the occasional highlights or rinse, but not a full color job. Since I started dyeing my hair in earnest, I've done it every 5-6 weeks, sometimes at home but mostly at a salon.

A few weeks ago I posted this photo on Facebook. I took it myself with my iPhone while waiting at my salon for the color to set. Take a good look at it, because it's the last time you'll see anything like that from me.

You see, I've decided to go au naturel. I've made the decision to let my gray streak fly and to do it proudly. I've wanted to do this for some time, but I've finally worked up the courage to go for it. Maybe it's the fact that I'm turning 60 next year, or maybe it's because so many women I know have done it in the past few years. No matter the reason, it's time.

My stylist says he has a rinse that will help the transition, but I haven't decided yet if I'm going to go that route or simply go "skunk" for the next six months or so. I'm luckier than many women. My hair grows very fast and I wear it short, so the transition time should be less for me.

One of my readers and Facebook friends, Lori Olsen, recently sent me a link to a website called Going Gray Looking Great. It's full of helpful advice and before and after and in between shots of women who've made the change. You can see the full change in Lori on Going Gray's "Graduate" page. I think she looks GREAT!

So if you see me at a book signing in the next few months and my hair looks... um ... well, very odd, you'll know why. Go ahead and laugh because I'll find it funny, too. Just don't point. Okay?

Not THE CHANGE, but Changes.

2011-08-26T06:35:00.000-07:00

I've been through THE CHANGE, but now I'm going through a few more, especially in my writing career.

I think it's safe to say, a writing career isn't over until the author is dead... and even then it's not. Just ask the ghosts of Mark Twain and Stieg Larsson.

There's a change in the wind in my writing career, and I'm talking about it over at Inkspot today.

Sometimes We Just Gotta Giggle

2011-08-18T07:33:00.000-07:00

I love Anderson Cooper. I watch him on CNN. I follow him on Twitter. Of all the newscasters on TV, he's my true go-to-guy to get the scoop on news at home and around the world. I especially love following him into the field. He's seen and reported on some of the most horrific and astounding things. I trust him. And that's one of the most basic things a viewer needs to feel when watching a journalist - trust. Anderson (May I call you Anderson?) is my eyes and ears in places I would and could never go, and don't really want to go in person.

Last night, like many others, I was eating dinner while watching the show 360°. It was what I expected: news about Rick Perry's run for President, the situation in Libya, etc. Then came a report on people who beat children because they believe God commands it. We're not talking about a little spanking and a time out here, but extensive beatings with objects, often lasting hours. It made me sick, to say the least. But so does most evening news in general.

Then came the RidicuList - Anderson's end of show editorial about, well, ridiculous news and people. Last night it featured the story about Gérard Depardieu, the French actor who peed on a plane without the privacy of a bathroom. Another disgusting story about celebrity bad behavior and sense of entitlement.

Then came the fun...

Anderson's monologue was studded with both clever and juvenile potty puns. After an hour of horrible and scary stories, it was a moment of entertainment, even if some of the puns made me and most of America groan. But good-natured groaning, as we would when a favorite friend treats us to bad jokes at happy hour. Then something happened. The usually stoic Anderson started falling apart right on camera.

It started with a few smiles and grins, then expanded to chuckles, ending with Anderson captured and hog-tied by the giggle monster. GIGGLES, I tell ya. High pitched, contagious and uncontrollable giggles. As the seconds ticked by, he tried to get control of himself, but that ship had sailed. I watched with open mouth as my favorite journalist morphed before my eyes into a giggling girl being tickled at a slumber party.

Considering all the horrible things that man has witnessed in the world - there's nothing wrong with a good, cleansing belly laugh.

Thanks, Anderson, for all that you do and for last night's needed pillow fight. It certainly made my night.

(Note: If you missed it, you can see it here.)

Planning Ahead - With Fingers Crossed

2011-08-07T10:03:00.000-07:00

Not this year, but next year I will turn 60. Yep, 60, if God's willing and the creek don't rise. And I'm making plans for that auspicious day.

My mother died when she was 52 years old, and her early death has always spooked me as I've gotten older. The year I turned 52, I suffered from mild paranoia. I was sure I was going to kick the bucket 6 months in either direction of my 52nd birthday. I know. I know. That's silly. Although Mom wasn't as heavy as I am, she smoked liked a chimney and suffered from emphysema and heart disease. Me, I'm healthy as a middle-aged horse and active. I also kept pointing out to myself that Dad died just shy of his 80th birthday. So if you average those two ages, I should live until I'm at least 66. Right? That gives me plenty of time to finish up the 6 books remaining on my Odelia contracts and produce many others.

So based on my expectations that I will not be kicking the bucket anytime soon, I'm making grand plans now for my 60th birthday on December 21, 2012.

The idea struck me while I was doing a little research for Gem of a Ghost, the 3rd Granny Apples mystery coming out in February 2012. In that book, I mention Stonehenge. While reading online information about the ancient landmark, I learned that the Winter Solstice is the biggest day of the year at Stonehenge - a day when Druids, Pagans and Wiccens celebrate big time at the circle of stones, along with curious tourists.

The Winter Solstice occurs on December 21st - my birthday!

The Wiccens, Pagans and Druids don't know it yet, but they will be throwing me, one of the many curious tourists in attendance, a big 60th birthday party in 2012. That's right, in December 2012 I'm heading to England to PAR-TAY!

But wait, there's more!

Seems 12/21/12 is a big day for the world in general. And while I'd like to think it's because it's my 60th birthday, I'm not that self-centered. Really, I'm not.

December 21, 2012 marks the end of the Mayan calendar. Because of that, some believe that specific date will trigger apocalyptic events, a major shift in the earth, or even the end of the world. December 21, 2012 also marks the date the sun will align with the center of the Milky Way for the first time in about 26,000 years, setting off a major disruption in the earth's energy.

Even Nostradamus is muscling in on my 60th birthday. Apparently, he prophesied a comet will hit the Earth on that date.

Really, folks, you shouldn't have. A simple cake, a bottle of wine, or even a card from the drug store will do.

A Little Crazy Goes a Long Way

2011-08-04T23:46:00.000-07:00

"Okay, is it my turn now?" Odelia Grey snaps at me with impatience.

"Whatever do you mean?" I ask, trying to appear innocent and clueless as I keep my fingers pressed to the keyboard.

"Haven't you had enough of ghosts and vampires?" Odelia continues her rant, hands on her bulky hips. "And what's with the farting dog and bunny suit? Geez, Sue Ann, you're a novelist, not a short story writer. If you want to write about stinkin' holidays, do it on your own time, not mine!"

"Okay, Odelia, okay. I hear ya. Sheesh, could you tone it down, you're upsetting B and Raffi."

"Oh pleeeeese... Raffi is comatose on the chair and B's under the bed, as usual."

"Point taken. But don't worry, I'm working on your next adventure. Honest." I take a swig of water from a nearby bottle, wishing it was vodka.

Odelia looks over the words on the computer screen in front of me. "That's it? That's all you have so far?" She shakes her head. "At this rate, we'll both be retired paralegals before you finish."

"I have it under control." I try my best to ignore her and keep working.

She checks the calendar hanging over my desk. "Isn't this book due to the publisher on October 1st? That's just," her voice trails off as she counts the days, her stubby fingers jabbing at each calendar block. She lifts the flap for August and keeps counting. "That's just 58 days away!"

"October 1st is a Saturday," I reply. "That gives me until October 3rd. You know, like with taxes when April 15th falls on a weekend. So I really have 60 days and there's a long weekend in the mix somewhere. Plenty of time." I can feel my voice shake a bit as her point hits home.

Odelia is now jabbing her finger into my left shoulder. "I don't like it one bit when you cut it so close. It's bad enough you have me babysitting a kid in this book, now I have to worry about YOUR deadline."

"Be nice," I warn, "or in this book I'll put you on a diet."

Odelia's mouth drops open with indignation. "You wouldn't dare!"

"Just a few keystrokes and you're eating celery instead of cheesecake."

"Kiss my big fat heiny."

"Okay, but that little remark just traded your morning donut for a rice cake. Go ahead," I tell her, a finger poised over the delete key, "keep running your mouth and the Ben and Jerry's will vanish next."

She taps her foot while pondering her options. "Hmmm, maybe 60 days is plenty of time to finish a book." As she disappears, Odelia's final words hang in the air like a benediction.

Sometimes, you just gotta show your characters who's boss.

Baited Blood is Seeing Stars - 4-1/2 of Them!

2011-07-31T10:28:00.000-07:00

Drum roll please! Baited Blood, the 2nd book in my Madison Rose Vampire Mysteries is in the house! I received a few copies this week from my publisher, which means the book should be showing up at your favorite online and brick and mortar store in the next week or two.
Dead vampires are being left in the Dedham swimming pool. And by "dead" I mean really DEAD. Is someone setting the Dedhams up or sending a message? Madison and her undead pals are eager to get to the bottom of it before they are all exposed or before more vampires fall victim to someone's sick idea of a joke.

Romantic Times Magazine gave Baited Blood 4-1/2 stars! "This is good, cheeky fun with a solid mystery, loads of possible villains and a genuinely sexy romp on the fang side."

And check out Criminal Minds today where I'm discussing the moral codes of each of my protagonists. Do they have one? Do they need one? Come on by.

No Waterboarding, Please!

2011-07-17T07:32:00.000-07:00

I'm over at Criminal Minds today chatting about how Madison, Emma and Odelia squeeze information out of people. Each has their own distinct was of handling people and situations. Drop on by and say hello.

I'm happy to announce Pull My Paw, the 2nd story in my Holidays From Hell short story series for e-readers, is now up on Amazon. It's available for just $0.99, so download it today to see how the nutty Bowen family handles Mother's Day festivities.

Coming soon - Where's Your Daddy? What's a family to do about Father's Day when Dad's gone missing?

You're a Notary? Really?

2011-07-12T13:30:00.000-07:00

Today at lunch I munched on a Lean Cuisine while reading my latest copy of The National Notary. Specifically, what grabbed my attention was an article entitled "A Celebration of the American Notary."

Did you know that Judge Roy Bean, Samuel Clemens (Mark Twain), and even Jennifer Lopez all served as notaries? Me neither!

Reading that reminded me of a blog post I did almost two years ago on Inkspot about how my writing world and my paralegal/notary worlds often collide, so below is an update of that blog post.

As most of you know, by day I work as a paralegal in a law firm in Los Angeles. Mornings, evenings, and weekends, I don my author cape and crank out mysteries. Sometime my two careers overlap.

It’s wonderful in a weird sort of way. Like the time I called the California Secretary of State’s corporate division and identified myself as Sue Ann Jaffarian, paralegal with XYZ. The woman on the other end paused, then said, “Did you know there’s a writer by that name? Are you related?” When I told her I was both the paralegal and the writer, she told me how a friend had turned her on to my books. She also asked why I was still working as a paralegal.

Um, maybe because I'm adicted to food, shelter and healthcare?

Then there was the time our attorney service, the company that files our corporate documents all over the nation, called me and said when one of them ordered a book from Amazon, one of my books popped up as a recommended purchase. “Is that you?” they asked.

Yep.

Or the day I called another paralegal at another firm to discuss some documents. I identified myself as I usually do and was met with the usual pause, followed by a skeptical, “You are not.”

Yeah, I am. (She also asked why I'm still working in law - see answer above.)

Please know that situations like these don’t happen every day, but they do happen often enough to give me the warm and fuzzies and inform me that people are, indeed, reading my books. At least people involved with the California paralegal community.

In addition to being a paralegal, I am also a California commissioned Notary, and I must have mentioned that fact somewhere in my travels because once I received an e-mail asking me to perform a notarization. Since I don’t offer notary services to the general public, the request stymied me. The woman turned out to be an avid reader of my books and really did need a notary. Remembering I was one, she thought it would be cool to have me perform the service and have my signature on her document, complete with my official seal. I politely declined, informing her that I only provided notary services in the course of my job with the law firm. She was disappointed, but graciously understood.

By the way, my signature is not the same as my autograph. Just thought I'd clear that up.

Seems ole Sam Clemens and I aren't the only writers who were or are notaries. According to the article, Dave Berry is one, too.

Who'd a thunk it?

I Blame It All On The Pizza!

2011-07-11T07:54:00.000-07:00

Last night I had the most bizarre dream. I tend to dream a lot and often I dream about the book I’m currently writing. Last night, though, was truly bizarre and had nothing to do with any of my current works in progress.

It started with me going to Sookie Stackhouse (yes, that Sookie Stackhouse) and telling her I needed a place to stay for the night. Instead of letting me into her house (WTH, she lets vampires inside!), she took me to this contraption in the yard that looked like one of those kiddie beds where the bed is up top, reachable by a ladder, and a play area or desk is built in below the bed. You know the kind I mean, a bunk bed with only the top bunk.

Anyway, the bed Sookie showed me was like that, but it was king size instead of a twin. After climbing the wooden ladder, I discovered a large cabinet at the end of the bed. Sookie opened it and this huge, creepy thing that was a mass of blue, slimy tentacles started coming at me. She beat it back, slammed the door to the cabinet shut and told me I’d be safe if I didn’t open the door. Yeah, right. There was no way I was going to sleep in that bed, so I decided to sleep in my car.

In real life, I drive a white Ford Focus sedan, but when I climbed down from the bed, said Focus was being towed away. (And, no, that isn’t a subconscious reference to any outstanding tickets.) That’s when Jason Stackhouse arrived on the scene and offered me this beat up convertible junk heap that billowed exhaust. It was getting late and the back seat was bigger than the one in my car, so why not?

I was almost asleep when Sookie rushed up and told me to get out of there. As I watched, she climbed up on the high wooden bed, opened the cabinet and lit the creature inside on fire, then set fire to the bed. As I drove off in the clunker, I saw her set fire to the house, too.

Oddly, there were no vampires, witches, werewolves, werepanthers, shapeshifters or demon babies in my dream. Nor did Eric Northman show up (sigh...), but I did learn a valuable lesson.

Never, ever eat pepperoni and fresh tomato pizza while watching True Blood shortly before going to bed.

Kibbles and Bits on the 4th of July Weekend!

2011-07-03T07:10:00.000-07:00

Getting a lot done over this welcomed long weekend, including rest, fun stuff and time with friends.

Yesterday, after a 7:30 am hair appointment and several errands, I caught up with some favorite TV shows via On Demand. There are so many great new shows on the USA network this summer. Along with my return of the fun adventures of Annie Walker on Covert Affairs, USA released Suits and Necessary Roughness. Suits was very good but I loved Necessary Roughness, a show about a therapist starting over after parting from her philandering husband. Keep up the great work, USA!

I also watched the 2nd episode of this season's True Blood. It was on On Demand ahead of time. Good grief! There's so much going on, I feel like my head's going to explode, though I could seriously do without the demon baby subplot.

Today, I'm over at Criminal Minds discussing how Emma Whitecastle became a ghost whisperer in my Ghost of Granny Apples books.

Now off to brunch with pal, Miles. We're hitting the famous Cantor's Deli over on Fairfax. I haven't been there in ages. Then it's back to the computer to work on my 2nd Holidays From Hell short story and work on edits for Gem of a Ghost, the 3rd book in the Granny Apples series. There might even be some housework in the mix considering yesterday I sat on my butt watching TV, when I wasn't in a coma-style nap. And who knows what Monday will bring?

There might not be no such thing as a free lunch, but for a limited time my publisher is giving away FREE Kindle downloads of The Curse of the Holy Pail, the 2nd book in the Odelia Grey mystery series. And check out the reduced price on the e-book edition of Too Big To Miss, the 1st Odelia Grey book.

And don't forget, The Rabbit Died, the 1st story in my new Holidays from Hell short story series, is available for 99 cents over at Amazon. Such a deal ... a freebie, a discount, and a 99 cent story!

Don't have a Kindle? You can download a FREE Kindle app for your smart phone, iPhone or computer.

Spider Solitaire - The Writer's Friend or Foe?

2011-06-28T07:39:00.000-07:00

My name is Sue Ann and I’m addicted to playing Spider Solitaire. If you own a computer (and you do if you’re reading this), you know that Spider Solitaire is one of the free games that comes with almost every computer on the planet.

I once read an article about a business that removed the game from all the computers in the company because so many employees were playing during office hours it was interfering with productivity. I don’t play the game on my computer at work except on occasion during lunchtime (really, boss, I don’t) because I have no need for it there. Nor do I play it on my iphone. I have other addictions for that device.

Spider Solitaire is my go-to place when I’m stuck in my writing. It’s my Magic 8 Ball when dialogue stiffens or a plot is slogging through mud. Not that Spider Solitaire gives me any specific answers. I don’t pick up my laptop, shake it, and turn it upside down hoping for just the right turn of phrase to appear that will get my work in progress moving again. Rather, the game works like Drano.

If I’m working away on something and hit a road block, and the usual methods don’t work in getting over or around that block, I bring up Spider Solitaire and play a few games. It diverts my focus away from the book, giving my brain something else to do. Working on the puzzle of Spider Solitaire provides my brain with a break from the frustration of the temporary writing block. Usually, I’m in the middle of my second or third game when a light goes on in my head and I know exactly what I need to do to get my manuscript going again. It’s like pulling the plug when hitting the off button is useless in stopping a runaway appliance.

My male cat Raffi is like a dog with a bone (and I hope he’ll forgive me that particular phrase). Often when he gets an idea in his head, whether it be bullying my other cat, or scratching a piece of furniture, or treating my feet like his favorite toy, he will obsess until he drives everyone mad, including himself. When he’s like that, I have to pick him up and physically move him into another room. Snapping at him. Telling him NO! will not work. His brain is stuck in a particular groove and come hell or high water he is going to pursue that path. Only breaking his focus will get his brain out of the deep mud and put a new and less annoying idea in his head. If I could, I’d turn him on to Spider Solitaire.

And what if playing Spider Solitaire doesn’t free-up my creative juices? Well, that’s what cleaning the bathroom and vacuuming the house are for. Usually, after a couple of games, if my brain is still like setting cement, I will get up from the computer and start working on a physical household chore. It’s amazing how many great ideas can occur when scrubbing shower tile. Really.

Then there are the days I play game after game, lost in a fog, my brain unable to form a decent sentence or beat the stupid game. Those are the days I wish Raffi could pick me up and move me to another room.

A former boyfriend used to say he could always tell how well my writing was going by the cleanliness of my apartment. The more messy it was, the better the progress on my writing. When my place was sparkling clean, he knew I was in the weeds.

I'm so glad he never kept track of how many Spider Solitaire games I played.

Sticking My Toe Into E-Publishing

2011-06-26T07:02:00.000-07:00

This past week I released a short story titled THE RABBIT DIED. It's the first in a series of short stories I plan to write for my new Holidays from Hell short story series. These short stories will be in e-book format only for the pittance of $0.99 each. Right now THE RABBIT DIED is available for Kindle only, but soon it will be uploaded for you Nook readers.

The Holidays From Hell series will follow protagonist Zelda Bowen, a 30 year old single woman living in the suburbs of Los Angeles, from one holiday to another with her dysfunctional family.

I first conceived the idea for the Holidays From Hell series on a plane ride back from Birmingham, AL in February. I had gone to Birmingham to attend two back-to-back events - Murder in the Magic City and Murder on the Menu. While there, I got to know author CJ West, who has self-published his books. I had been following all the hoopla about e-publishing for a while, but CJ really lit my interest in it. With several series already under contract to a publisher, I didn't have time to write a novel for e-publishing, but I did have time to write a short story here and there. I also didn't want the story to be disconnected, just words thrown on a page standing all alone in the world. Thus, the Holidays From Hell series was born.

As with my novels, I had lots of help. Several friends read the story, gave comments and found the typos. It went through several drafts, just like a novel, before I handed it off to my manager, Diana James. Diana formatted it and got it up on Amazon. She and I collaborated on the cover design, but she did all the graphics. I love the cover. I had wanted something simple and clean, whimsical and a clear brand for the series. I think we succeeded.

One of the biggest problems with self-publishing of any kind is the lack of quality control. It's the old garbage in, garbage out syndrome. Would-be authors get excited over the idea of doing it themselves, write something in a flurry and upload it without giving much thought to the finished product. In the end, those stories and books are full of typos, grammatical errors and poor story construction. The author just killed their first chance at making a great first impression. Even worse are those who attack reviewers for honest opinions on the work in question. They not only killed the work, they have now killed their career. All because they didn't take the time to put out a professional product and behave professionally when it came under scrutiny.

I was self-published years ago and I took great pains then to have my work as perfect as possible before I published it. It was one of the reasons it sold well and grabbed the attention of a traditional publisher. I did no less with this first e-book short story.

E-books and e-publishing are here to stay. Many authors are leaving their traditional publishers and heading into it almost daily. It offers authors more control and a lot more income than they enjoyed before. But these authors are professionals. They know what works and what doesn't. They aren't sending their work willy-nilly into the black hole of self-publishing. They are hiring editors, formatters, cover artists and proof readers. Although putting a book up on Amazon is free, doing it properly is not. Just a word to the wise, folks.

For a great view into the world of e-publishing check out Lee Goldberg's blog. I spent quite a bit of time chatting with Lee this spring about this topic. Lee used to throw mud on anyone self-published. He's now self-publishing his out-of-print books with glee and sharing the information with everyone.

So far THE RABBIT DIED has enjoyed steady sales. I hope that continues, setting the stage for the 2nd story in the series, MOTHER MAYHEM. View and buy THE RABBIT DIED.

For now I will continue to e-publish my short stories, but in the future I plan on bringing out a novel in this format. It won't happen this year, but maybe in late 2012. I will keep you all posted.

Dating in the Middle Ages - Week One

2011-06-12T09:05:00.000-07:00

And, no, I don't mean Middle Ages as in medieval. I'm talking about an age range.

I’ve been on a paid dating site for a week now. I’ve been fairly successful in weeding out creeps and have chatted with some nice men. So far there has been no one I’ve wanted to meet, though there are still a couple of potential candidates – if they don’t screw it up. My money is on the screw-up.

First of all, why why why why do these men NOT read profiles? Or maybe they don’t believe them. It’s a mystery. If you are on a dating site and paying for the service, wouldn’t you want to find a proper match for yourself? I realize I’m not a guy and therefore lack that “I’ll just throw it all out there and see what sticks” mentality, but if my profile says I’m looking for men in a certain geographic location and within a certain age range, that’s what I’m looking for. And my preferences are broad enough to throw a wide net, so it’s not like I’m being unreasonable. I also made it clear that I lean towards the left politically and am not religious. Two other traits that have missed attention.

Okay, so let’s move to the next level. I’ve weeded out those who have winked and e-mailed me to several I find promising and moved on to chatting one-on-one. Here’s where you’d think the rubber meets the road, right? Wrong! I can’t tell you how many nice chats I’ve had only to get an e-mail the next morning and wonder “who in the hell is this guy and did he not pay attention to what we talked about?” I’m finding the real personalities are coming out in the morning after e-mail. And although I still consider many of them nice guys, it becomes clear they might not be for me. It’s the morning after e-mail where the rubber is either sticking to the road or burning as I flee.

Guys, here are a few pointers:

Please do not tell me after a few minutes of chat that you are going to delete your dating profile because you think I might be “THE ONE.” You are either lying or desperate, and neither is attractive. I want you to keep your dating profile active, just as I intend to keep mine active, until you find someone with whom to spend quality time. You can’t determine that after online chat.

When chatting online, be present. Don’t let long lapses between comments build. You are either chatting with many women at once or doing other things. If you can’t focus on getting to know me for at least ten minutes, please do not bother me.

Conversely, be aware of providing TMI in initial chats. These are just tools to get to know each other. Disclosing deep personal information should come over time and with trust. After chatting with one fellow, I felt like I was a therapist and he was on my couch. I should have sent him a bill. Instead, I sent him packing.

If you use the world SOUL MATE more than once or twice in your profile, chat or e-mails, chill. Ideally we are all looking for our soul mate. I’ve read enough badly written purple prose in the last week to make a Harlequin editor gag. Leave that talk for later, over candlelight dinners or in afterglow. It’s not that I don’t want a man to say romantic things to me, but not until he gets to know me.

And speaking of profiles, what’s with the single-spaced essays? Geez, some guys’ profiles are so long and verbose, it’s an instant turnoff. And many sound the same, as if they are being coached by a 14-year-old, hopelessly romantic girl. Some I even suspect of being cut and pasted from other profiles. Be genuine because eventually the real you is going to come out and better not to surprise the lady.

Okay, on to week two… stay tuned.

If It's June, It Must Be Odelia!

2011-06-06T08:12:00.000-07:00

Today, I'm guesting blogging at The Siren Song, talking about writing 3 different series and across genres. And there's a book give-away!

The Siren Song is the blog for The Sirens of Suspense website, which received a 2011 Anthony nomination for Best Website. Congratulations and great job!

HOT FLASHES IN JUNE

2011-05-27T23:08:00.000-07:00

A 20.5 Carat Rambling

2011-05-26T06:17:00.000-07:00

St. John's Hospital, Joplin, MO before tornado

It's Thursday and I eagerly await Friday and the beginning of the long weekend. I may have to work at the law firm sometime during these 3-days off, but won't know until it happens. I have no plans except to write like the wind, so I'll be ready to get the call to go into the office at a moment's notice. We're working on an important deal, so it's to be expected. It's part of the job and I'm happy to do it. Really, I am. I'm not just saying that. The folks at my day job are very nice to me and I love being there and the work I do. I've been with the firm 5 years in June and look forward to more years in my cluttered office.

This has been a bad week for me as you might have guessed from my earlier post. It's better but still not great. It will be a while before it's back on track. This sometimes happens. Life has its ups and down. If it's going along hunky-dory and always on an even keel - you know, rainbows and puppies, all the time - then you're on sedatives. Maybe I need sedatives. I was offered them once by a doctor, but turned them down because of the fear they would interfere with my writing. And I really don't want to be thinking about rainbows and puppies 24/7. Life comes with dark clouds and the occasional bogey men.

St. John's after tornado

There's a lot going on in the world right now. People in the midwest and parts of the south are having their lives torn asunder by monstrous weather. Others are being flooded out of their homes. People are dying and have lost loved ones. Anderson Cooper has become my eyes and ears on site. I have friends in some of these areas and feel powerless to help them, except to keep them in my thoughts and stay in touch, letting them know they are loved.

In other parts of the world, wars, rebellions and uprisings rule the day. Again, a powerless feeling engulfs me as I keep abreast of the news. So much pain in the world. Maybe that's why there's so much pain during childbirth. We hear our mother's cries and it plants an inkling of what's to come. A heads up, so to speak.

I read yesterday that Kim Kardashian got engaged and received a 20.5 carat engagement ring that cost 2 million dollars. I'm sure the folks in Joplin, MO read that with excitement, too. And that the folks along the Mississippi River were jumping with joy. I'm not saying the girl shouldn't have reason to be happy, but really People Magazine, did you have to use that as your cover story? Now, with thousands homeless and missing. With people hit hard by the economy and losing their homes, their jobs, their will to live. Really? Was throwing extreme excess and shallow celebrity status in our faces the order of the day when you sat around a conference table deciding on a lead story? Shame on you!

Something tells me Anderson Cooper won't be covering Kim's engagement and nuptials. He's a bit busy right now.

Where am I going with this? I have no idea. It's 5:30 am and I'm rambling about life - my life, the life outside my apartment door, the lives of those plastered on the news.

Thin Heart

2011-05-24T09:16:00.000-07:00

Adrift.

Alone.

Watching from the shore of my exile.

I’m told I’m loving.

Loveable.

People say they love me.

Easy words when you have enough.

I starve while others feast.

My body grows fat while my heart grows thin.

I turn my eyes to the void.

It holds out its arms in welcome.

Offering no pretty words of placation.

It understands.

The Truth - Can You Handle the Truth?

2011-05-22T06:59:00.000-07:00

This week on Criminal Minds, our task was to post 5 truths and 5 lies about ourselves. Today's my day and it looks like the supposed Rapture isn't gonna save me. Hop on over to Criminal Minds and see if you can tell which 5 are true and which 5 are false.

Win a book! The commenter on the Criminal Minds blog today that gets the most right will win a copy of which ever book of mine they choose, including the upcoming Baited Blood or Gem of a Ghost. In case of a tie or ties, the winner will be picked at random from those with the most correct answers. Posts must be made by 9pm PT.

The Hunger To Read and Learn

2011-05-15T13:22:00.000-07:00

As I do most Sundays, I went to breakfast today. Sometimes I meet a friend, but often I go alone, armed with the book I’m currently reading. I like to go early, between 8 and 9, before the crowds hit, which is one of the reasons I usually go alone. Most of my friends like to sleep in on Sunday.

I have my favorite restaurants and my destination is usually chosen depending on what type of food I’m craving or what the weather is like. My usual haunts are:

Nickel Diner in Downtown Los Angeles for biscuits and gravy, though many other items look scrumptious and they are famous for their donuts.

Overland Café for crab cake benedict and great omelets, and I can walk there from my apartment.

Spitfire Grill across from the Santa Monica airport because they have a comfy patio and good omelets.

Grub in Hollywood for many items, including their "frigging amazing French toast" (yes, that's what it's called) and to die for "Ooh La La egg sandwich" which must have a gajillion calories. They also have a tiny and adorable patio.

Today I chose The Nickel Diner. The book by my side was The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins, a book that has been on my TBR list for a very long time. I had started the book the night before but only read a couple of pages before I dropped off to sleep. My niece is reading this along with me, which is a real treat, so I wanted to catch up.

While waiting for my breakfast, I sipped my coffee and read. The book grabbed me from the beginning and wouldn’t let go. When the waitress set breakfast in front of me, I barely looked up. I ate on autopilot as I turned the pages, totally lost in the dark, painful world of Katniss Everdeen.

The ending of the first chapter didn’t surprise me, but it certainly affected me greatly. I kept eating, broken only by sips of delicious coffee and nods to the attentive wait staff that kept my mug full. The second chapter also didn’t surprise me, but by page 24 I was unable to keep eating. I shoved what was left of my breakfast aside and kept reading. The waitress came over to see if I wanted anything else. She looked at me oddly and asked if I was okay. You see, I was crying, silently sobbing. I said I was fine and pointed at the book as if that explained everything.

For another 30 minutes I read and drank coffee, until I dragged myself out of the booth. I could have sat there all day but they had a line for tables and I had errands to run.

I’m a bit worried about The Hunger Games. I’m only on the 3rd chapter, but I thought about it on the drive home and while I did my grocery shopping. If I can’t shake it now, what is it going to be like a few more chapters in? OMG! I'm gonna be a real mess.

One thing I know for sure, reading The Hunger Games is making me a better writer.

What's With All The Questions

2011-05-14T07:14:00.000-07:00

I've been kind of lazy about keeping up Babble 'n Blog. It's not that I have nothing to say (I'm sure right now a lot of you are shaking your head thinking "Yeah, that'll be the day.") It's just that most of my thoughts these days are being posted on Facebook or tweeted into the universe. I'll be better about blogging, I promise, realizing a lot of my blog followers don't necessarily use Facebook or Twitter.

For now though, I'm going to punt this blog posting over to Terri Bischoff, my editor at Midnight Ink. Terri has started her own blog, Under Cover of Midnight, and has a feature called 5 Questions. This week she fired off those question in my direction.

You can read the questions and my answers here, while I get ready to conduct a 4 hr workshop for Sisters In Crime/Los Angeles on how to find and approach agents. And feel free to ask your own questions or leave comments. I will be checking back to Terri's blog to read and respond.

A New Twist On An Old Pick Up

2011-04-10T07:22:00.000-07:00

An interesting fellow at RT

This week's topic at Criminal Minds explores the best pick up line your protagonist has used or heard. Since I don't recall any of my protagonists using or fielding any lines of significance, I went in another direction. Fueled by a recent experience this week at the Romantic Times Convention, I got to thinking... What if we handled meeting the opposite sex like we approach the marketing of our books?

Come on by Criminal Minds and check out my idea.

Dragging My Sorry Ass To The Finish

2011-03-01T07:21:00.000-08:00

My editor recently granted me me another 2 weeks extension to deliver the 3rd book in my Granny Apples series. It's tentatively titled Ghost on the Gallows. In the past I've needed extensions, but not like this. It's not that the book is dragging. It's not. It's moving along nicely and has been a lot of fun to write.

It's me that's dragging. Dragging like a rusty muffler scraping the pavement.

In December I took a little time off from writing to enjoy the holidays. I was still writing. I write nearly every day. But instead of pushing myself, for a few weeks I enjoyed my life and my friends. I needed it desperately. Since just before Thanksgiving I have been plagued with small injuries and health issues, one after the other. As I said, small ones and fixable, but things that needed attention and more rest than usual. In January, just as I was getting back into hard core writing, I did something stupid that injured my left shoulder. That slowed me down a bit. It was nearly healed when I hit the unfriendly skies for book events in Birmingham. At the airport I fell and reinjured it, this time badly, along with my left knee. Let me tell you, it's difficult to type for long periods of time with a shoulder you can't move high enough to even put on deodorant. The shoulder is almost well, not quite, but almost. The knee is mending, too.

As I've said many times before, I'm an old broad, and it's finally catching up to my body. Dammit!

Then there's the day job. Two years ago my day job quieted down. I was busy but not running wild. All that changed last year when our firm went berserk with work. Now I'm busy all day, every day. We're so busy I didn't even take a day off to nurse my shoulder. Then again, why should I? I didn't take time off from my writing to nurse it.

Between the two obligations, some days I feel like a machine. I get up, check for cat poop on the carpet, and sit down at the computer ready to work on my books. A few hours later, I get up, shower and head to the office. I do this over and over and over - days, weeks and months melting one into another like a bowl of Hershey Kisses left in the sun, not even sure some mornings if it's Wednesday or Saturday.

Okay, now lest you think this is a post about whining, think again.

I chose this life. I chose to write as much as I do. To work the day job I have. Both are my dream jobs. Mmm, well, maybe that's not exactly true. When asked this past weekend what would be my ideal career if I wasn't a writer, I replied: "Independently wealthy. That's an occupation, isn't it?"

But seriously, I am living my dream of being a published author. Every time I see one of my books in a library or a book store, the reality of my dream hits my heart as accurately as one of Cupid's romance arrows. When I read comments from readers in e-mail and on my Facebook page, another happy arrow pierces my heart. My goal wasn't just to be a published author, but to write things that would make people happy and smile. I wanted to bring a bit of fun and joy to readers' lives. Doing that brings me happiness and joy.

Okay. Enough of this shilly-shallying. I have a book to finish in exactly 14 days!

But first, I must tie up my saggy muffler.

A Little Change In My Small But Valuable Life

2011-02-14T22:41:00.000-08:00

Today I made a decision. As decisions go, it wasn't very important in the grand scheme of my life, but it was important with regard to time management. For years I have been blogging over at Inkspot with a host of authors published by Midnight Ink. Today I decided to end that blog affiliation because of the demands on my time and the desire to do something different.

Recently, I signed on to blog at Criminal Minds. It's a fun blog shared with 13 other authors with a little different format than Inkspot. Instead of once a month, I will be blogging at Criminal Minds about twice a month, responding to weekly posed questions. It's called a virtual panel. I think the change will be interesting and good for me.

I also intend to return to blogging more frequently here at Babble 'n Blog, which is my personal soap box.

Tuesday, February 15th, will be my final blog post at Inkspot. I'll be talking about my small life and bravery, inspired by current events and the following thought-provoking line from the movie You've Got Mail:

“I live a small life. Well, valuable but small. And sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it or because I haven’t been brave?”

Odelia Did What?

2011-02-13T07:04:00.000-08:00

I'm over at Criminal Minds today discussing what does Odelia do that I would never do. Interesting and fun topic to consider. Drop on by.

I Confess, I'm An Old Fart

2011-02-09T05:29:00.000-08:00

I'm visiting with the talented ladies at Jungle Red this morning lamenting about becoming an old fart.

But old or not, I'm not going down without a fight.

Woodchucks Chucking Memories

2011-01-30T09:15:00.000-08:00

As much as there are tons of TV commercials that make me cringe, there are also a lot of commercials that make me smile, chuckle and outright cackle with laughter. One of my absolute favorites is the HP eprint commercial of the baby scooting across the nation’s highways to the tune of Melanie Safka’s Brand New Key. Only people with hearts of stone can watch that commercial and not giggle.

Other favorites are the US Post Office commercial with the demonic clown toy and the Purina dog food commercial featuring older dogs.

My absolute favorite overall brand commercials are those done by Jack In The Box. Although I never eat at Jack In The Box, for years I've found their commercials pure genius. I especially loved the one where he visits his folks.

But the commercial I want to talk about today is one for Geico. It’s silly, even stupid, not particularly funny, and I find the pitch man on these commercials annoying. But, that said, this particular Geico commercial totally tugs my heart strings. Why? Because it reminds me of my father. It’s the one with the woodchucks throwing sticks of wood into a nearby lake while a farmer shakes his fist at them.

You see, when I was a very little girl, my father taught me the woodchuck ditty. And now, whenever I see that commercial, even though the sing-song little poem is not recited, I recite it in my head exactly as my father taught me over fifty years ago.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

My father's birthday was in February and it was in February that he passed away eighteen years ago, but I hear his voice every time those woodchucks start chucking that wood.

A Little Whine, Hold the Cheese

2011-01-26T06:55:00.000-08:00

Today’s one of those days when I wish I could split myself in two. I am so busy at the law firm, I’m working 10-11 hours a day. At home, a manuscript deadline is coming at me like a train on a dark and deserted railroad crossing and I’m the damsel in distress tied up like a rump roast and sprawled across the tracks waiting for the impact.

I’m the size of two people, so why can’t I simply separate myself down an imaginary dotted line. Half of me can shower and dress and go to work while the other half remains in my jammies glued to the keyboard at home.

Why, because which half would get which limbs? Would my right brain stay home and my left brain go to the office? Since I’m right handed, would there be a bidding war for my right hand and the loser gets the left? I use my legs more at the office, running up and down the hallways to the copy room, kitchen, attorney offices – stuff like that. But what about my big ole ass? It’s needed in both places, though the writer side definitely uses it more. After all, I type better sitting down. Hmm, I think I could do with one cheek in each place.

It’s a conundrum.

Alas, whining won’t get me anywhere, nor will it get me showered and dressed and off to work where a big client meeting awaits for today. Nor will whining get another page or two completed on my current work in progress before I leave.

But it felt soooooo good. I had to voice my frustration at juggling so much in so little time. And, oh yeah, I forgot, beginning in February, I’ll be adding book promotion for Ghost in the Polka Dot Bikini to my To Do List, including out-of-town travel.

It will all get done. I know it will. I have confidence in my abilities and, more importantly, in my tenacity. The manuscript for Granny Apples #3 is coming along nicely, if not as fast as I’d like, and the work at the office is also getting done. Both have deadlines that cannot be missed and will not be missed. When I am gasping for air and entertaining the idea of giving up, I will dig deep and call on my reserves like an Iron Man competitor in the last five miles of the run. I did the freaking Mud Run – dammit – I can do this.

Okay, my rant is over. At least that’s all the time I can afford. I gave it the few minutes originally slotted for breakfast.

Blatant Self Poisoning?

2011-01-25T05:19:00.000-08:00

Yes, there is such a thing and I'm discussing it over at Inkspot today. A must read for any author pushing his or her own book.

Hot Flashes for January/February 2011

2011-01-21T05:33:00.000-08:00

The Dream Continues to Be Important, More Than Ever

2011-01-16T07:55:00.000-08:00

I have a lot on my plate this weekend, but I want to make sure I stop in all the hubbub to remember why I have three days off in the middle of January.

This weekend we celebrate Martin Luther King's birthday. Dr. King had a dream, a dream that one day we would all put aside our differences and live together in harmony and equality. We're not there yet, and there are still those who would fight against such a lofty and beautiful idea, but there has definitely been progress since 1963 when Dr. King marched on Washington and delivered his iconic "I have a dream" speech. I was 10 years old at the time.

The speech itself is about equality for African Americans, but today its hope and message have taken on a global meaning. As technology has turned the world into a village, and we are exposed to activities and actions as they happen, both joyful and horrific, it is more important than ever that we not be judged by the color of our skin (or by our religion or nationality or political beliefs, or even by the size of our body or the size of our bank account) but by the content of our character.

In this busy weekend, take a moment to read Dr. King's speech. I do every year just to remind myself that I have a duty to uphold and further it.

My Name Is Sue Ann and I am an iPhone-aholic.

2011-01-06T06:13:00.000-08:00

I confess, I’m starting to worry about being addicted to my iPhone4. I went from an old, barely working Motorola Razor to the iPhone a few months ago. A new phone was definitely on my list of things I needed and intended to buy before the end of the year. In fact, it was right up at the top, along with new bras and a new vacuum. Before making the purchase, I did my research about its features. I talked to friends who had them. Poked at them at the phone store. Even studying the list of its failings didn’t deter me.

Okay, so now I’ve had this thing for about 2 months and have firmly decided that I need a 12-step program. Thing is, I don’t want one.

I LOVE MY PHONE.

Is that wrong?

Getting and making calls on it seems to be an afterthought. I read books on the Kindle app. Put my grocery list on the notes app. Watch my calories on a diet app. Monitor my calendar. Take photos and videos. I check the weather, my bank account, Facebook, Twitter, TV listings, play games, look up addresses and maps, surf the web, and even use the timer on the clock feature when I cook. I haven’t even used the iPod feature yet. I do everything on it but write my books. It has become an appendage. How did I ever live without it before?

At work, so many of us were getting fancy phones, they allowed us to turn in our office-assigned Blackberrys and the office piggy-backed onto our personal phones. So now instead of two devices, I only have to carry one and they subsidize it. Another win. And I’m better connected to the firm when I’m out of the office because I find it easier to use.

Recently my pal Miles and I went to brunch. When we got to the restaurant, it was closed for the holiday week. As soon as one said to the other “where to now?” we each pulled out our iPhones and searched for another place to have brunch. (Miles was much quicker on the draw, but he’s had his longer.)

A lot of the phone companies have released smart phones and they all look to be about the same – indispensable.

Recently, I also upgraded my computer. I haven’t even scratched the surface of what it can do, but I’m sure I’ll find it as intriguing as the iPhone. I’ll start seriously digging into it after my deadline on March 1st.

Looking around, my eyes rest on my 18-year-old TV. Hmmm. It’s looking a bit shabby next to the new electronics in the apartment, don’t ya think?

I'm Sorry Joyce Kilmer

2011-01-02T00:36:00.000-08:00

This week our assignment over at the Criminal Minds blog was to express our New Year's resolutions through poetry.

With sincere apologies to Joyce Kilmer, and the world of poetry in general, I give you Trees Don't Need No Stinkin' Deadlines.

Great Expectations for 2011

2010-12-31T18:11:00.000-08:00

Did you hear that? Did you? It was the sound of another year whooshing by like a runaway freight train.

I ask you: Where in the hell did this year go? Seems like just yesterday, or at least last month, I was madly writing towards a break neck deadline while wondering what insanity 2010 would bring. Now I’m wondering what craziness is in store in 2011.

2010 Statistics:

I wrote 3 novels: Murder In Vein, Twice as Dead and Baited Blood, and started Ghost on the Gallows.

Murder In Vein launched my new vampire mystery series – my third mystery series.

Twice As Dead was the 6th book in the Odelia Grey mystery series. I have a 12-book contract for that series, so the completion of Twice As Dead put me at the halfway mark. And let's not forget Corpse on the Cob, which was released February 2010.

There was no Granny Apples book released in 2010 because of a release date cha-cha by my publisher, but Ghost in the Polka Dot Bikini, the 2nd book in that series, will be out in just a few weeks.

I attended Left Coast Crime in Los Angeles, Malice Domestic in Virginia, Oakmont Authors Festival in Pennsylvania, Book Expo in New York and Bouchercon in San Francisco. Somewhere along in there I managed a trip to Jim Thorpe, PA, for research and a visit with my family in Massachusetts. I also did countless library and fund raising events.

I also completed nearly five years at the law firm and paid off most of my debts.

In spite of the above accomplishments, it was a rocky year, with the writing of three books and all the book promotion draining me physically and emotionally, but I bounced back and am finishing up the year on a high note of expectation for the next twelve months.

2011 plans:

Write Granny #3, Odelia #7, Vampires #3.

I’ll be attending Murder in the Magic City and Murder on the Menu, both in Alabama, and Bouchercon in St. Louis. And, of course, the usual book signings and speaking engagements. I’m looking forward to the little lighter travel schedule this year.

May 15, 2011, will see me lined up with friends and other racers for the 100th Anniversary of the San Francisco Bay-to-Breakers. And in November, I’ll be taking a trip to the Grand Canyon – my first ever.

As for the world in general, most things in the news made me nuts or sad or horrified. But there were stories that brought great hope and joy. Who will ever forget those Chilean miners rescued after 69 days underground? Unfortunately, there were fewer of those stories, but the important thing is we are not without hope as long as we have life. Just ask any of those miners and their families.

Okay 2011, let me slap on a little lipstick and I’ll be ready for ya!

Typing - Even On My Birthday!

2010-12-21T09:48:00.000-08:00

Today is my birthday and I'm over at Inkspot discussing - whatelse - typing! Hop on over and join the fun.

Granny Does Hanukkah

2010-12-19T08:28:00.000-08:00

The blog question this week over at Criminal Minds was what would your protagonist want to open for each of the eight days of Hanukkah. Since I have three series, I had to give this some serious thought and asked Madison, Odelia, Emma and Granny who wanted to take the question. I even asked a few of the vampires, but no one stepped forward. It was more like everyone took a step backward, all but Granny, who was wondering why the others fell so quiet all of a sudden. My characters are usually quite chatty, but not this time. This time they withdrew, leaving Granny standing alone to take the heat.

Granny didn't disappoint. A bit surly at first, she did finally come up with an interesting list. You can read it over at Criminal Minds today.

And don't forget. Granny and Emma and all their pals will be back in their 2nd adventure, THE GHOST IN THE POLKA DOT BIKINI, in just a few weeks!

Christmas For One

2010-12-16T08:41:00.000-08:00

A lot of blog postings around the web are talking about family Christmas traditions. I’m always hesitant to talk about my Christmas traditions. Not because they’re odd or kinky, but because people get the wrong idea and feel sorry for me.

You see, I spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day alone.

Okay, now just stop it! I can see you glazing over with that “poor Sue, we must do something” look. Trust me, your sadness on my behalf is misguided.

I live alone. I’ve lived alone almost all of my life. I like living alone. More importantly, I am not lonely. I have very little family, and what I have is 3,000 miles away. A few years ago I braved holiday travel to spend Christmas with them. NEVER AGAIN! Hey, I love you guys like it’s nobody’s business, but cancelled flights, bad weather and luggage missing for a week isn’t my idea of a good and relaxing holiday. Plus, I can seldom wrangle time away from work in December.

When I was in my early thirties, there was a small group of us who had Christmas dinner together. Then, as happens, over the years people married or moved away. For several years I accepted invitations to various Christmas dinners. But as gracious as my friends and acquaintances were, I often felt “tacked on” to their traditions, like a good deed they were doing for the holidays rather than truly wanted and included. And there were holidays I spent with the then current significant other.

At some point, I finally looked people in the eye and declared myself a family of one (okay, 3 if you include the cats). And I have my own holiday traditions, just like any other family.

I get together with friends the week or two before Christmas to share dinners and exchange gifts before they take off to visit their families. I decorate my apartment (though my schedule dictates how much). I make myself a lovely meal, usually rack of lamb, and open a nice bottle of wine. For dessert, it’s either ginger bread or pumpkin cheesecake. There’s often a fresh Christmas floral arrangement on my dining table and carols playing in the background. On Christmas morning I open the presents received from family and friends and watch a Christmas movie in my jammies with a carafe of ginger or peppermint tea. I call my family. Invitations to go to the movies with my Jewish friends are turned down. I spend the day in quiet, self-contained, bliss.

And I write. I’ve always had a deadline shortly after the first of the year, so part of Christmas is almost always spent pounding the keyboard for several hours, both before and after dinner.

This is my tradition and I look forward to it every year.

If you know singles without family, don’t naturally assume they are okay alone at Christmas, as I am. Many are not. There’s a reason the suicide rate increases at the holidays. Some folks might be lonely and would love an invitation to dinner, so open your hearts and your home and make them feel welcome. But if they decline, don’t feel bad. Maybe they just want to be with their family of one.

Dystopia - Dyswhatsia?

2010-12-09T07:52:00.000-08:00

This past weekend a very lively discussion ensued at the holiday party of the Southern California chapter of Mystery Writers of America. The party was fabulous. Get a bunch of crime writers in one place and ply them with drink and great food and you have a recipe for a very interesting evening.

The specific discussion I'm referencing took place between myself, Denise Hamilton and Les Klinger. Actually, it was more me listening wide-eyed while Denise and Les gushed excitedly about dystopian novels, mostly young adult novels.

I've been hearing the word dystopia a lot lately around the author water cooler. I kind of, sort of, knew what it meant, and I knew it was the latest craze in YA novels (The Hunger Games, Mockingjay). For those of you as in the shadows as I was, in a nutshell, dystopia novels center around a negative utopia, like a utopia gone wild and ugly. Think Lord of the Flies or The Time Machine, two of my favorite novels.

The day after the party, I looked up the term dystopia to make sure my understanding was correct, and was pleased to discover it was. Whew. Nothing like feeling like an author who may be clueless and out of touch. I was also pleased to learn I had been reading dystopian novels most of my life and just didn't know it by that term. I'd always thought of them as science fiction.

While I've never read The Hunger Games or any of the currently popular dystopian novels, I have read quite a few of the classics. And I bet you have, too. Here's some of my well-read and well-loved dystopian novels:

Lord of the Flies - William Golding
The Time Machine - H. G. Wells
Atlas Shrugged - Ayn Rand
The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood
Animal Farm - George Orwell
1984 - George Orwell
Fahrenheit 451 - Ray Bradbury

Deadlines Be Damned - Oops, Did I Say That?

2010-12-06T08:09:00.000-08:00

I have a new book due to my publisher in 8 weeks. 57 days to be exact. The book's working title is GHOST ON THE GALLOWS. It's the third installment in my Ghost of Granny Apples mystery series.

So far I have 1 page done. Yes, you read that correctly. 1. Page 1, chapter 1.

I should be panicking about now, but I'm not. I am oddly, eerily, calm about it. Last night at the So Cal MWA holiday party, fellow author and pal Darrell James put a strong, comforting arm around me and said he was "scared for me." I told him not to worry. His wife, Diana James, is my manager. As the days tick off the calendar, Diana's voice will grow higher each time she calls to check on my progress. And each time I will tell her I'm fine. The book is fine. Not to worry. Chill.

I've written each of my last two books in two months time. It seems I write better under pressure. It's not like I intentionally put myself into these jams. I really don't. It's just I have other stuff on my plate - like a day job and editing 2 books and doing galley proofs on a third, all in the last month. And it's not like I'm NOT writing. It's just that the writing I'm doing does not entail putting new words on a page.

I know it's time to put the peddle to the metal. To dig deep and get the words and plot lines and characters out of my head and onto the page. Time's ticking. Hear it?

But, you see, I vowed this year, for the first time in many years, I'm taking time to smell the holly and enjoy the Christmas season. I'm going to parties and meeting with friends and not letting it whoosh by me like someone else's life watched in film clips. The book will get done. I'm sure of it. But this year, my present to myself is my life back.

Granny is standing next to me, tapping her booted foot, ready to kick me in the ass. And, trust me, you do not want to rile a cantankerous, pig-headed, pioneer ghost. But Granny needs to understand she shouldn't rile an equally pig-headed author.

A Perfect Stay-Cation

2010-11-30T07:53:00.000-08:00

Here's an insight into the glamorous life of an author. Yeah, right!

Last week I took the whole week off from my day job as a paralegal. I didn't join the multitudes traveling over Thanksgiving, but chose instead to stay home. I did the same thing in 2009 and have now decided that an annual stay-cation is a must for my sanity.

The plan was to relax, see friends and get things done around the apartment. Mission accomplished!

It took two days, but I managed to scrub all of the carpets and area rugs in my apartment. It was WAY overdue and I was both pleased and appalled by the dirt that came out of the wall-to-wall. Not to mention the cat hair, even after I vacuumed twice. I swear, the carpet is several shades lighter now. The most difficult part of the whole endeavor was moving furniture out of the way. I swallowed quite a few ibuprofen over the course of the cleaning.

(BTW, I bought this little gem of a carpet cleaner, although don't be fooled by the words "steamer" or "power brush." The "steam" comes from the fact that you fill it with very hot tap water. The brush doesn't move. The "power" comes from your own muscles. But, that said, I think it's the perfect little machine for apartment cleaning.)

When I wasn't cleaning the carpets, I was cleaning out old stuff and tossing it. I finally got rid of the extra old rag-tag desk chair that my cat Raffi adored. It was truly an eyesore and he'd torn it to bits. I took it down to the dumpster, then spent three days listening to him whine about it. I'm still waiting for his revenge attack. Just wait until I get rid of my equally ragged desk chair and replace it with one he can't shred. Boy, then I'll be in for it.

I spent four of my nine days of stay-cation having lunch or brunch with friends. This was the very best part of my time off. I started my stay-cation celebrating friend Lori Tillman's birthday at Spaghettini in Seal Beach, where the food and service was fabulous. Lori, BTW, was the inspiration behind the character of Zee Washington in my Odelia Grey novels. Next up was lunch with a former boyfriend at Gulf Stream in Century City, where they have the best tuna burger anywhere. Wednesday found me in Pomona dishing the dirt at the Wood Ranch Grill with author pal Kate Thorton. We also celebrated the release of Kate's new collection of short stories, Inhuman Condition, and what better way to do that than by lunch, girl talk, and shopping! Last up was brunch on Sunday at a French cafe with long-time pal Miles Holliman.

In between all the carpet cleaning and food, I managed to do the final edits on two novels: Twice As Dead and Baited Blood. Twice As Dead had already been edited, but I wasn't totally happy with it. I asked my editor at Midnight Ink for another shot at it and she said sure, as long as I got it done before December 1st. Now I'm very happy with the book. Baited Blood is the 2nd in my vampire mystery series and that absolutely hummed off the page and required very few edits.

I also did a lot of shopping during the week. I needed a lot of stuff for the apartment and with the great sales going on, managed to get most everything. Besides clothing, I bought a new alarm clock, a portable GPS (mine was stolen out of my car last month!) and a new computer. Not to mention a carpet cleaner. See, a glamorous life. And on top of this, I got my Christmas shopping done! Yes, D-O-N-E!

Now it's back to the swing of things. I've just started work on Ghost on the Gallows, the 3rd book in my Ghost of Granny Apples mystery series. The book is due February 1st, so I'm going to need to haul my heiny to get it done on time, but with all the editing of other books out of the way, it should be clear sailing. Outside of an occasional blog or two, my only writing mission is this book.

Oh yeah, and my paralegal job. Not that I could forget about that. It was tough yesterday getting back into the groove, but the dozens of e-mails and stacks of files on my desk let me know I was needed and missed. It's going to be a very busy December at the firm. Glad I got my stay-cation in!

Mince Pie For Breakfast - Hell, Yeah!

2010-11-25T09:00:00.000-08:00

Even people who live alone have Thanksgiving traditions. Mine is eating mince pie and ice cream for breakfast on Thanksgiving morning. It doesn’t matter if I’m staying home for Thanksgiving, going to friends, or meeting folks at a restaurant for the main meal, breakfast is always warm mince pie with vanilla ice cream while watching the Macy’s Parade. If I travel for the holiday, I will still trek to Marie Callendars either before or after turkey day to get my mince fix.

It all started when I was a kid. My mother always made a half dozen pies – pumpkin, chocolate cream, apple, lemon meringue, and mince. The sixth pie was either banana cream or something she called danish delight, which was a raspberry, red gel-like filling similar to the lemon filling and covered with meringue. My mother and I were the only ones in the family who liked mince pie. Early on, my mother made it by mixing boxes of dried Nonesuch filling into water and cooking it on the stove before pouring it into the pie shell. Often she would chop up extra apple to add to the box filling. Later Nonesuch put ready-made filling into jars, making it much easier.

On Thanksgiving morning, while Mom was busy cooking the turkey and making the other fixings, my brother and I would eat pie for breakfast. It was quick and a special treat and something we could do for ourselves. There were no microwave ovens back then. Except for the cream pies, we would eat it at room temperature with no ice cream. Over the years I’ve changed the tradition to include warming it up and adding ice cream. My own touch to a family tradition.

Hey – mince pie is full of raisins and apples and ice cream is a dairy product. Fruit and milk – sounds like breakfast to me.

Every year, 2010 being no different, I munch on pie and ice cream shortly after I get up and remember back to my childhood. I think about my brother, Thom, and I, still in our jammies, devouring pie in front of the old black and white TV, while the house filled with the smells of cooking. Soon after, we’d head outside to play until dinner time.

Our family was pretty dysfunctional, even more than most, but once a year warm mince pie conjures up one of the warm and fuzzy memories I hope I’ll never forget.

Too Much Information?

2010-11-23T07:21:00.000-08:00

I'm over at Inkspot today posing the question to authors: when is it too much information? Do readers really want to know the person behind the books?

Giving You a Piece of My Criminal Mind

2010-11-21T06:45:00.000-08:00

Andy Warhol - Self Portrait

Today I begin my tour of duty with the fine writers over at the Criminal Mind blog. I will be blogging there every other Sunday, in addition to my monthly blogging at Inkspot (look for me there on Tuesday, Nov. 23rd) and occasional blog posts here.

I was very excited when Kelli Stanley invited me to join Criminal Minds, voted one of the top mystery blogs for 2010. I love the premise of this blog. Every week they pose a question to the group and beginning on Monday, the bloggers for that week each give the topic their individual spin. Once a month they have a Grand Master, a top mystery writer who gets grilled by each blogger with questions. Stop by this entertaining and informative blog to say hello. I think you'll be glad you did.

This week's question was if you could choose any artist, living or dead, to do your book covers, who would it be? I conjured up Andy Warhol to help me out.

Saturday with the Soroptimists

2010-11-08T07:32:00.000-08:00

This coming Saturday, November 13th, I am very honored and excited about joining several author colleagues, including my good friend Naomi Hirahara, at the 6th Annual Authors' Brunch sponsored by the Brea/La Habra chapter of Soroptimist International. It should be a fun and interesting time.

To Maura Kelly and Marie Claire: I'm Fat. Deal With It!

2010-11-05T20:26:00.000-07:00

Sculpture by Cindy Koh

As usual, I am late to the party – 12 days late to be exact. But that tends to happen when I’m hustling to finish edits on a book and have my nose stuck deep into due diligence at the office.

Just today I learned about Maura Kelly’s inflammatory blog at Marie Claire about fat people. Seems she was asked by her editor to comment about whether or not seeing fat people make-out on TV made people in general feel uncomfortable, and was given the new TV show Mike and Molly as her example. What followed was a hateful, shockingly ignorant and poorly written diatribe against fat people, even though Ms. Kelly had never seen the show in question.

I’ve been bullied most of my life about my weight, which started climbing when I was around 8 years old. I remember being followed home from school by classmates while they taunted me with “fatty, fatty, two by four” and “Chubby Checker,” all the while kicking me in the back of my legs. My mother went to the school to try and stop it, but it only made it worse.

Such bullying continued all through elementary, junior high and high school. I remember for awhile in high school, boys used to lay in wait for me at the top of the staircase and as I walked up would hock up big wads of spit and rain it down on me. When I went to the school office to complain, the adults helped me get the gobs of mucus out of my long hair and told me to go to class a different way. The creeps found me and continued until they got bored or found someone else to torment.

Looking back, I wasn’t even very large at that time in my life. Certainly plump, but by no means morbidly obese. (Truth is, I’d kill to weigh now what I weighed then.) But it was the 60’s and the Twiggy waif-pre-pubescent boy look was in, along with hip-huggers and the birth of the mini-skirt. It didn’t help that I was a loner, from a broken home (which wasn’t the norm in those days) and from a lower economic level. But it was my size that initiated the attacks and name-calling.

When I was around 15, I was taken to a weight specialist and put on diet pills. I quickly lost 20-25 lbs and for a short while was thin enough that you could cut yourself on my collar bone. Unfortunately, the pills turned out to be prescription speed. I was so hyped up, the doctor had to give me sedatives to counteract the diet pills. I ended up in the hospital emergency room and remember the doctor lecturing my mother soundly for turning me into a junkie. Fortunately, I wasn’t addicted to the pills and as soon as they were out of my system I was healthy again … and gaining my weight back.

Is it any wonder my first suicide attempt was at 16 years of age. Trust me, teen suicides over bullying are nothing new.

The remarks, the bullying, the looks of disgust have continued throughout the years and I have memorialized some of them in my Odelia Grey novels. As I got older, they lessened. Seems when you become middle-aged, the bullies decide you aren’t worth their time. Or maybe you become so toughened up, they sense you might take them out if they say anything.

When I read the Maura Kelly fat-rant blog the first time, my head nearly exploded. Then I felt sad for Ms. Kelly. She admits to having her own body issues and anorexia and it obviously taints her judgment. Her own self-loathing has turned her into a nasty bitch with no sense of decency and a bad case of projecting her personal issues onto others. She did “apologize” kind of, sort of, but it was obvious she didn’t feel one bit sorry for her hateful words. If anything, the “apology” seemed like continued arrogance, just wrapped in different words.

If Ms. Kelly had posted her ugly words on a personal blog, I would have written it off as her personal opinion, which she has a right to, and formed my own opinion of her – that she’s an unhappy asshole. But the fact that she put it on the blog of Marie Claire, a national magazine for women, which claims to embrace ALL women, is the real hate crime here, and that crime was perpetrated by that magazine.

Don’t for one minute, Marie Claire, tell me no one saw that blog entry before it was posted. And don’t for one minute try to peddle your fair and equal handling of all women/all people. That ship has sailed and it sailed with a steel drum band and streamers.

My name is Sue Ann Jaffarian. I am fat. I kiss men and have sex, and that makes me Maura Kelly’s and Marie Claire’s worst fears come to life.

I rather enjoy that...

11/6/10 - Last night when I wrote the above blog, I felt I'd gotten a lot off my chest. But a funny thing happened this morning when I woke up. I felt free and empowered, like I had taken back my life. I live a very busy life and sometimes all the activity, deadlines and demands bring about a kind of robotic malaise. Reading the bullshit Marie Claire and Maura Kelly are shoveling brought me out of that, and so I must thank them for shaking me up and awakening the warrior in me - the beautiful, sexy, intelligent warrior queen. - saj

Get Off Your Ass And Vote!

2010-11-01T08:10:00.000-07:00

On November 2nd, sometime between 7 am and 8 am, I will be waiting in line at Palms Elementary School to vote. The school is two blocks from my apartment building. No need to drive. Just walk on over, do the deed and walk back. Then I'll climb into my car and head into work. No muss. No fuss. Very little inconvenience.

You can even vote by mail if you send it in on time. I prefer going to the polls. There is something about standing in the voting booth next to my neighbors and punching out my choices that makes me feel very American in a positive way.

Because this is not a presidential election year, they expect lower turnouts at the polls. Guess some folks figure if they aren't casting their vote for the top job, it doesn't matter.

Well, it does!

Here in California we have the Governor's seat up for grabs, along with an important US Senatorial seat. There are also many important measures on the ballot. I won't go into details about which candidates or measures I support, but you can bet that tonight, when I get home from work, I'll be going over my sample ballot one last time to make sure I'm confident about my choices.

Voting is not just our right, it's our privilege and duty.

So tomorrow, get off your ass and go do it!

2010-10-28T05:48:00.000-07:00

I'm over at Inkspot today discussing the mise en place of writing. Come on by and bring your apron.

How I Ate and Drank My Way Through Bouchercon

2010-10-20T08:06:00.000-07:00

I’ve been to several Bouchercons in the past several years and I must say the one in San Francisco last week was the best I’ve attended so far. It was very well planned and organized and even with approximately 1,400 people attending, you never felt overwhelmed.

By the time I got to San Francisco on Thursday morning, I was exhausted. I’d already put in three very long days at the office and now was facing four days of conference. After an uneventful flight and a smooth ride on BART from the airport directly to the Hyatt, I was pleased to run into my editor, Terri Bischoff, at the registration desk at the hotel. Since it was early and my room not ready, I visited with folks like Christa Faust, Julia Spencer Fleming, and Aileen Baron before taking off for a brief visit to the San Francisco office of my law firm. I’d never been there before and wanted to see the digs and say hello to many of the folks I work with via phone and e-mail. From there it was a nice walk back to the Hyatt with a stop at a tiny café for a quiet lunch.

Bryana and "Odelia"

When I returned to the hotel my room was ready and I moved in and rested a bit before getting ready for my evening gig. Thursday night I was scheduled to speak to the Alameda County Legal Secretaries Association at the law offices of Nixon Peabody, which was almost across from the Hyatt. I’d spoken to this crowd before and they are always a delight. It was so nice to catch up with familiar faces and catch them up on my adventures in publishing. Terri went with me, as well as Diane Kudisch, the owner of the San Francisco Mystery Book Store, who brought books to sell. And we sold a lot of books!

At the end of the dinner and program, Bryana Schroder, President of the Association, presented me with a very special gift: a crochet Odelia Grey doll she made herself! I was absolutely overwhelmed. The doll is quite large and has a tote bag filled with miniature editions of my books. How cool is that? Then it was back to the Hyatt and the bar, where I spent a lot of time laughing with pal Holly West, her hubby Mick and friends Julie and Rich.

In the morning, I had breakfast with a group of ladies from the Mystery Babes Yahoo group. What a fun time! At breakfast, I discovered Dana Cameron and I were born in the same town in Massachusetts. Even in the same hospital!

I had a very special treat in the early afternoon when I joined friends Rita Lakin and Steve Stienbock in the hospitality room. Sitting with them was the legendary William Link and his lovely wife Marjory. Later in the day I was scheduled to appear in the Midnight Ink booth to meet and greet folks. Steven Pomije, Director of Publicity at Midnight Ink, did a great job on the booth and we had lots of folks stopping by to check out our books.

When I lived in San Francisco years ago, my favorite restaurant was Tadich Grill. Determined to visit the historic restaurant this trip, I gathered up Joni Langevroot and Nikki Bonanni and took off for a bowl of the best cioppino anywhere. After, it was back to the Hyatt and the Jack Reacher party hosted by Lee Child.

At Midnight Ink booth with Joanna Slan and Kathleen Ernst

Saturday was more of the same: chatting with old friends, making new ones and soaking in the wonderful atmosphere of San Francisco. Thursday night I met up with my long time friend Leila Sarkissian, who lives in The City, and she introduced me to a restaurant called Kokkari, which was across the street from the apartment complex where I used to live. Kokkari is a Greek restaurant with fabulous ambiance, food and service. We had lemon soup, split entrees of goat stew and lamb chops, and rice pudding with honey braised pear. WOW! is all I can say about dinner.

After, Leila and I walked back to the Hyatt and bumped into Holly, Mick, Julie and Rich. We grabbed a table in the bar, and spent the next few hours swapping stories while friends dropped by to join us for a bit or to say hello. The bar was hopping on Saturday night, which is not unusual at a mystery conference, and folks wandered from table to table in one big party atmosphere.

Sunday morning, after packing and checking out of the hotel, I went to my panel: Clown of Death. Panel mates included Sebastian Stuart, Mary Jane Maffini and Lenny Kleinfeld. The panel was moderated by Terri Bischoff. I was concerned about a panel on humor scheduled for 8:30 am but was surprised to find it a full house. The panel was lively and fun and no one seemed hung over from the previous night’s festivities; not the panel or the audience! After the panel,we signed books and then took off for the Anthony banquet. I was so very pleased that pals Sophie Littlefield and Hank Phillipi Ryan both won Anthony awards.

My trip to Bouchercon ended with lunch on Sunday with another dear old friend, Paula Boghossian. We had wonderful kabobs at Shalizaar in Belmont, then Paula dropped me off at M is for Mystery where I had a book talk and signing with Sebastian Stuart. After that, friends Doug and Shirley Pearson scooted me off to the airport for my flight home.

Okay, based on the above, can you see how much fun Bouchercon was? I mean, I ate, drank and chatted my way through four days of mystery books, writers, readers and friends.

Doesn’t get much better than that!

Here I Come, San Francisco! And I'm Bringing My Heart!

2010-10-13T06:57:00.000-07:00

October is not quite halfway over and I'm pooped. On October 4th I turned in my second vampire novel. My publisher loved it and it looks like its published title might be BAITED BLOOD, which I love.

I had planned on taking a few days off from writing, then plunge back in with the final edits on TWICE AS DEAD, the 6th Odelia Grey adventure. However, life had other plans. Or I should say, my day job had other plans. Ever since turning in BAITED BLOOD, I've been working like a dog at the law firm, chalking up several 10+ hr days, including one that was nearly 15 hrs long. Good bye writing until that's over! But I don't mind. I like my job and they are very flexible when it comes to my writing schedule - quid pro quo.

Now that life at the office is quieting down, I'm heading off to San Francisco, one of my absolute all time favorite cities, for Bouchercon 2010. That's the world mystery conference to you non-mystery loving folks; the annual gathering of mystery writers, agents, editors and fans from all over the world. Every year it's in a different city. The last time I attended was several years ago and it was held in Madison, Wisconsin. Next year it's in St. Louis.

I leave for San Francisco on Thursday morning and my first event is not a Bouchercon event but a speaking gig at the Alameda County Legal Secretaries Association dinner meeting that night. I love speaking at legal events. What can I say? They're my peeps.

The rest of my weekend in SF is as follows:

Friday - 3:00 pm - 4:00 pm - The Midnight Ink Booth in the Bouchercon book room. If you're at B'Con, please drop by and say hello. I'm told the booksellers will have the limited hard cover edition of MURDER IN VEIN.

Sunday - 8:30 am - Panel - Clown of Death, a discussion of mysteries on the lighter side, with fellow panelists Sebastian Stuart, Mary Jane Maffini, Lenny Kleinfeld. The panel will be moderated by my Midnight Ink editor, Terri Bischoff.

Sunday - 5:00 pm - Book discussion and signing at M is For Mystery with Sebastian Stuart; 86 East Third Avenue, San Mateo, CA.

Tonight I'll be packing and getting ready for my flight in the morning. I'm too tired right now to be very excited about the trip. Mostly, I just want a day to sleep, but I'm sure I'll get into the swing of things once I'm surrounded by all the hubbub of the mystery world. After all, they are also my peeps.

It's Finished, But I'm Not

2010-10-04T08:09:00.000-07:00

Last night, or technically this morning, at 12:30 am, I hit the send button on my keyboard and delivered the 2nd book in my new vampire mystery series off to my publisher. The working title is THE BLOOD THAT BINDS, but I'm not sure that title will stick. We'll just have to wait and see. I'm also excited to see what Midnight Ink comes up with for a cover since I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE all of their covers. The 2nd vampire book will be out next September, so stay tuned for announcements about it in the next year.

One thing I must say about this 2nd vampire book - it nearly wrote itself! It's almost as if the characters whispered each and every scene into my ear and I merely typed it all out like dictation. It's was magic!

The first book in the series, MURDER IN VEIN, is doing well. Thanks, everyone! It's brought in a lot of new readers to my work and most of my Odelia Grey and Granny Apples readers have also loved it.

Please note, dear readers, that MURDER IN VEIN is much darker and edgier than my other series. It is definitely not a cozy or cozy-ish, so if vampires or harder fiction are not your thing, please do not feel you must read it. I certainly will understand.

Copies of the limited edition hard cover of MURDER IN VEIN are still available, but only from independent mystery book stores. Most of the book stores where I have had or will have signings will have them, so check my calendar for upcoming signings.

Next up:

October 9, 2010 - 1:00 p.m.
Book Signing and Discussion on Murder In Vein
Mysteries to Die For
2940 Thousand Oaks Boulevard
Thousand Oaks, California 91362
(805) 374-0084

So what's next on the horizon? Well, next I must do the final edits on TWICE DEAD, the 6th Odelia Grey novel, followed by the galley proofs for GHOST IN THE POLKA DOT BIKINI, the 2nd Granny Apples mystery. On November 1st I begin work on the 3rd Granny Apples book. My working title is GHOST ON THE GALLOWS and much of it takes place in the small town of Jim Thorpe, PA. GHOST ON THE GALLOWS will be my 11th novel for Midnight Ink. Wow, does time fly or what?

As for now, I'm hanging up my writer hat for a couple of days, but just a couple. I'll get my home in order and take care of things like my website, catch up correspondence and other chores that have fallen by the wayside. In a little over a week I'll be heading to San Francisco for Bouchercon.

As for now, I need a nap.

Breaking Out of My Box

2010-09-29T22:39:00.000-07:00

I'm over at Inkspot today talking about breaking out of my box. Please drop by and add your comments.

That Thumb Drive Goes Where???

2010-09-24T08:45:00.000-07:00

I am 10 days from my deadline to deliver the 2nd book in my vampire mystery series to my publisher. The book is going very well and is surprising even me with its exciting twists and turns. I never knew vampires could be such fun.

More than once in the past two days I've said to someone that the ending is in my head playing like a movie. All I have to do is get it out through my fingers and onto the page. The problem is, between now and the finish of the book are thousands of words, big and small, that lay it all out for the reader. With just 10 days left, I don't want to be bothered with all the verbs, nouns, pronouns, adverbs, adjectives, prepositions, conjunctions, and interjections. Oh, and let's not forget all those pesky quotation marks in the dialogue.

I just want to cut the last few scenes out of my head and paste them to the page. Cut 'n paste - is that asking too much?

Then how about a thumb drive I can stick into my ear, upload the book's ending, then stick the thumb drive into my computer. Ta Da! Book finished!

Steve Jobs and Bill Gates - Are you listening? Forget fancy phones and new operating systems, just make me a flash drive that works with my brain.

Two Rare Friday Events and One Launch Party - Come Join In The Fun!

2010-09-15T06:30:00.000-07:00

This weekend I have lots of fun planned for everyone.

Friday, September 17th, I will be taking off my paralegal hat for the entire day and slipping into my author togs for two lovely events.

The first event begins at 11:30 am. It's a luncheon sponsored by the Friends of the Huntington Beach Library. The other is an evening event with the Signal Hill Library.

First up is the Friends of the Huntington Beach Library Luncheon which begins at 11:30 am, 711 Talbert Avenue, Huntington Beach, CA. The cost is $18. I'm not sure if walk-ins or late reservations are allowed, but if you are interested in attending, call 714-375-8429 for more information.

The Signal Hill Library event is from 7-9 pm and will be held at the Signal Hill Community Center, 1780 E. Hill Street, Signal Hill, CA. For folks not familiar with Signal Hill, it's a small community next to Long Beach.

And last, but definitely not least, this Saturday, September 18th, 5:00 pm, is the LAUNCH PARTY FOR MURDER IN VEIN! This should be a great time.

Count Duckula will be there, will you?

And remember, this is the first place that hard cover copies of MURDER IN VEIN will be available.

The festivities, which will include red velvet cake and champagne, start at 5:00 pm at the Mystery Book Store, 1036-C Broxton, Los Angeles, CA (Westwood/UCLA area). Be one of the first 50 people to arrive and receive a vampire rubber duckie that will also put you in the drawing for another special prize.

Prior to 6 pm, the parking structure next to the book store offers 3 hrs of free parking - a real treat in parking-challenged Westwood. The small lot across the street is a flat rate of $5 or $6.

No Cabana Boys, But Still Lots Of Fun

2010-09-10T15:09:00.000-07:00

While there will be no cabana boys present this weekend, there will be lots of fun things happening in my life. One is a book event and the other a cultural event. Both are open to the public, and it's not too late for you to plan on attending either.

September 11, 2010 - 2:00-4:00 p.m. - Free
The Pros and Cons of Self Publishing with Sue Ann Jaffarian, Pamela Samuels Young and Gay Degani
Burbank Library - Buena Vista Library
300 N Buena Vista St
Burbank, CA 91505-3607
(818) 238-5620

On Sunday, September 12, 2010, I will be attending the following dance production. All ticket proceeds for Dhoom Dham are going to benefit the American Diabetes Association.

America's Got Mega Talent

2010-09-09T07:48:00.000-07:00

Last night the 4 finalists for this season's America's Got Talent were announced. WOW! I would pay to see any one of these four super talents perform. At the beginning of the season, I was Jackie Evancho all the way, but now I don't know which way to vote. What a happy dilemma to have.

On Tuesday night when the 10 semi-finalists performed, I was sick and sacked out on the sofa. It was a 2-hour show and I barely saw anything past the first hour. Yesterday I went online and watched the performances I missed, which included all four of the finalists. All 10 of the acts were fantastic. As Piers Morgan kept saying, it was the best semi-finals yet in the program's history. When the 4 finalists were chosen, they were the same 4 I had on my list. That's never happened in the time I've been watching the show. But all four were definitely a notch above the other 6, who were also incredible.

Jackie Evancho - what can you say about this charming, extraordinarily gifted girl that hasn't already been said. We'll be listening to her for years and years and years.

Michael Grimm- I want to buy a CD of his songs RIGHT NOW.

Prince Poppycock - I can't wait to sit in a theatre and watch a full stage production by this campy, talented and fun entertainer.

Fighting Gravity - How original and exciting are they? Boys, whether or not you win AGT, you will ROCK Vegas! Mark my words.

Wild horses, or even a looming deadline, won't keep me from my TV next Tuesday night.

A Million Blogging Vampires? YIKES!

2010-09-08T06:46:00.000-07:00

Today I'm a guest blogger over at A Million Blogging Monkeys, the blog owned by my good pal and fellow Midnight Ink author Alan Orloff. Drop on buy and say hello. And while you're at it, bookmark this delightful blog site and visit it often in the future.

Oh, Cabana Boy!

2010-09-05T22:31:00.000-07:00

I just returned home from one of the most relaxing days I’ve had in a very long time. I’m so relaxed, next to me, Gumby is wound tight.

My BFF Susan and I spent the day at the Glen Ivy Spa in Corona where we enjoyed mineral soaks, steam baths, mud baths and a special moisturizing treatment (my skin feels like a baby's backside). In between, we lallygagged about in our own private cabana. That’s right, a cabana. And it was all ours.

Glen Ivy has these really nifty cabanas for rent for the day. They are located on an upper terrace with a gorgeous view of the surrounding hillside. There are four cabanas in all which look like rooms with the front wall missing. Each is outfitted with various configurations of sofas, chaises, tables and chairs according to its size. They are semi private with each divided from the next by a high wall and greenery. Three of the cabanas are suitable for parties of 10 or more. One is set up for a party of two. That’s the one we rented. Directly in front of our cabana were two cushioned lounges with pillows just for our use. Dividing the lounges from the inside section were three airy curtains that we could pull across the front of our space for more privacy or to block the sun. Beyond our private lounges were more regular chaises and tables and chairs solely for the use of cabana patrons. The terrace also had a private whirlpool.

Our day started by depositing my car in a reserved parking spot, then jumping to the head of the line to be greeted by Ryan, a handsome, young concierge who escorted us up to our cabana and settled us in. Waiting for us was a large tub of ice filled with bottles of water. A few minutes later another young man arrived with a bowl of fresh fruit for our enjoyment. He also left lunch menus and asked if we wanted any thing else. Susan and I both ordered iced teas. In a jiff, two iced teas appeared along with a carafe of more iced tea for refills. Another concierge booked us a slot in the Grotto, which is a special moisturizing treatment, and asked if he could book other services for us. Throughout the day, more iced tea magically appeared. The ice in our water bottle tub was also replenished throughout the day. And the young men stopped by frequently to make sure we had everything we needed. Susan commented several times that she felt like Cleopatra with all the special attention.

Along about noon, one of the young men (there were three serving the cabana area – James, Josh and Ryan) asked if we were ready for lunch. Sounded good to us. We ordered a nacho plate that was big enough to feed us both with leftovers. The last time we went to Glen Ivy we had to order our food at the on site café, which is cafeteria style and quite yummy. It wasn’t a problem at all, but I have to admit, it was a lot of fun having the food ordered and delivered to us without lifting a finger. After lunch we read, chatted and took in more soaks. I wanted to live there. At least for another day or so. For the entire day, the service was impeccable.

The cabanas aren’t cheap, and you still have to pay the entry fee into the spa, and for any extra services like massages, pedicures, facials, the Grotto, etc. Although they do provide cabana patrons with a slight discount. Cabanas also have to be reserved in advance. I have to admit, the cabana rental was worth every penny as a special treat. We decided to do it because we’ve both been under so much stress lately.

Sigh - Stress? What stress?

Susan summed it up perfectly as the delightful Ryan escorted us from the entry to our cabana: “A cabana boy?! Well, I can cross that off my bucket list.”

You're Never Too Old To Play In The Mud

2010-09-04T13:21:00.000-07:00

Mud Pool Area at Glen Ivy

This past April my friend Susan and I spent the day relaxing at the Glen Ivy Spa in Corona. It was so wonderful that we promised ourselves we would do this once a quarter. Even though it's late into the 3rd quarter of the year, tomorrow we stick to that promise. We'll be spending the entire day immersed in sun, mineral pools and mud. CAN'T WAIT!

Today I'm writing my heiny off on vampire book #2. It's going very well. I was about two weeks ahead of schedule, then work turned very demanding and I had a slight cold/allergy situation and I lost my lead, but it's still on track to be completed by its due date of October 1st - just 27 days away. Usually around this time before a due date I'm a nut job. I'm not with vampire book #2. Not sure why. Maybe I've cranked out so many books by now I'm not as crazed by looming deadlines. Or maybe it's because the book is really humming along smoothly. It's almost as if it's writing itself. I wish they all went this well. And I'm really enjoying it, both the writing and the story.

On Monday it's back to the keyboard and the vampires. Tuesday it's back to the law firm. But for tomorrow, not a single word will be written, not a single plot line considered, not a single piece of promotion done or thought about. Tomorrow it's all about R&R and spending time with a dear old friend.

Pssssst! Do You Hear The Voices, Too?

2010-08-31T21:31:00.000-07:00

I'm over at Inkspot today talking about the voices in my head. Drop on by and visit us.

Come On Down to Julian!

2010-08-14T18:08:00.000-07:00

Next weekend I will be speaking at the Julian Library. This is a very exciting and important event for me. You see, Ghost à la Mode, the first Ghost of Granny Apples mystery, takes place in Julian. In fact, Granny herself hails from the small historical town in the mountains north of San Diego.

If you live in Southern California, Julian is a fun place for a relaxing weekend or even a day trip. So why not come on down Saturday, August 21, and visit me at the Julian Library. I'll be on deck at 1:00 pm. And you'll be able to visit all of the sites mentioned in Ghost à la Mode. I might even be talked into giving an impromptu walking tour. Just let me slip on my comfy shoes.

What's more, this will be the very first public outing of MURDER IN VEIN, my new vampire mystery. The library and I have been assured by my publisher that copies of the book will be available for next Saturday's event (sorry - trade paper edition only, hard cover edition isn't out yet).

Ghosts AND vampires - How fun is that gonna be!

For more photos of Julian, check out my Julian photo album on my Facebook page.

Click on poster to enlarge it.

Big Voice, Little Girl - WOW!

2010-08-11T08:22:00.000-07:00

As you all know, I love TV. But of all the shows I watch, my guilty pleasure is America’s Got Talent. Really. I watch it. Every sappy, scary, embarrassing moment.

I wallow in joy watching people following their dream, whatever it may be, just as I follow mine of being a novelist. I don’t watch American Idol at all. I prefer America’s Got Talent. Yes, it’s cheesier and more bizarre in its range of contestants, but it also has more variety in acts and ages. It’s not just about young people trying to be the next big singing sensation. It’s personifies what I believe and preach: That dreams can be pursued at any age and from any circumstance.

Last night was You Tube night. All twelve acts came from video entries on You Tube rather than through the normal audition process. Four of them will move on to the finals with the other traditionally chosen finalists. For these four acts, it’s like finding the Golden Ticket in a Wonka Bar. Of the twelve acts, one stood out – way out – for me: Jackie Evancho.

WOW! WOW! WOW!

Jackie Evancho is a ten-year-old opera singer. Yes – 10! And she sounds like a thirty-year-old seasoned Met performer. She has to be heard to be believed. At the end of her performance I was a teary mess. She’s THAT good.

Every season I am blown away by several acts and cheer them on, hoping they make it to the end. I loved all of the finalist last season, but my favorites, Barbara Padilla and Lawrence Beeman, didn’t bring home the prize. Some of my favs for this year are Prince Poppycock, Arc Attack, Murray, and Haspop. There are some great pop signers in the finalist line up, too.

But after last night, I’m Jackie Evancho all the way to the end.

Jackie Evancho isn't a star in the making - she's already a star.

IT'S ALIVE!

2010-08-08T17:22:00.000-07:00

Murder in Vein, the first book in my new Fang-In-Cheek mystery series, is now LIVE on Amazon and BN.com – nearly 4 weeks early! This means it should reach brick and mortar stores in the next few weeks.

Hard Cover Edition Update - Murder In Vein is also coming out in a limited hard cover edition! A first for me and for Midnight Ink! For those of you who would like the hard cover edition, it will be out sometime in September and will cost about $24.95. There will only be 500 printed, and for starters it will only be available through mystery book stores and some other independent book stores, so you may have to order it to make sure you get your copy. Because of the limited amount of copies, we cannot guarantee that hard cover copies will be available at all of my signings.

Signed Copies - If you would like a signed copy of the hard cover edition of Murder In Vein, you might try The Mystery Book Store in Los Angeles. Since they will be hosting the launch of Murder In Vein on September 18th at 5:00 p.m., I am sure they would be happy to take orders for signed copies of the hard cover edition, or signed copies of the trade paper edition.

WOW! What a ride!
For those of you who don’t know the story behind this book, just a short year ago Murder in Vein was just an idea in the back of my brain. Something I hadn’t even discussed with my agent yet. And now look … it’s a book! My initial contracts are for 3 books in this darkly funny mystery series. I am currently half way through book 2 in the series.

A big shout out to my agent, Whitney Lee, who recognized the potential of my different spin on the vampire genre, to Terri Bischoff, who was determined to obtain this series for Midnight Ink, and to Midnight Ink/Llewellyn Worldwide for fast-tracking production.

Shortly after the ink was dry on the contracts, Terri called me and asked if I could deliver the manuscript in two months, instead of the nine months stated in the contract. I nearly had a heart attack. After all, I have a day job! She outlined Llewellyn’s reasons for the change and let me digest it for about 30 seconds. It made sense from a marketing and sales standpoint, but could I do it? Not one to back down from a challenge, I took a deep breath and said YES. In the words of the elegant Tim Gunn, I would just have to “make it work.” And I did, working like a mad woman every minute I wasn’t at my office, giving up holidays, parties and relaxation to get Murder In Vein on the page.

And now it’s an undead book!

Birthers Give Me Heartburn

2010-08-06T10:01:00.000-07:00

The news this morning really pissed me off. I know. I know. I say that a lot.

First, let me count the good stuff happening today, lest I forget: it's Friday; my new manuscript is going great; Murder In Vein is about to come out; I'm busy at the office; Prop 8 was overturned in CA (big YAY on that!), and I'm eating a donut.

Okay, so what has my rather large granny panties in a bunch? So glad you asked...

It seems the freaking "Birthers" won't get a life (pun intended). This morning on CNN.com one of the lead stories is about Lt. Col. Terrence Lakin, a decorated veteran Army doctor who is refusing to deploy to Afghanistan because he feels President Obama has not yet proven he was born in this country, and therefore his orders are illegal

"The truth matters. The Constitution matters," [Lakin] said. "If President Obama is a natural-born citizen, then the American people deserve to see proof, and if he is not, then I believe the orders in this case were illegal."

WTF!

Let's see... there is a birth certificate from the State of Hawaii, certified by that State's Health Director and verified by the Republican governor of Hawaii. And not one, but two, birth announcements from 1961 published in Honolulu newspapers have been dug up.

How much more proof do these lame-asses need? I have less proof of my birth location, yet no one questions that.

Granted, no one wants to go to Afghanistan, any more than I want people to be shipped there, but to use this tired and bogus birth certificate issue as the reason why he refuses to deploy is unconscionable for an educated leader in our armed forces. This man is not only an officer, but a doctor. Let's face it folks, this shit is nothing more than camouflage for Lt. Lakin's racist views. And what kind of an example is that to our troops who are serving every day in hell holes around the world.

SHAME ON YOU, LT. LAKIN ... on so many levels.

It's Here! It's Really Here!

2010-08-04T07:29:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I received a Fed Ex box from my publisher. Inside were 4 copies of MURDER IN VEIN, the first book in my new Fang-In-Cheek mystery series. I ran around the law firm showing everyone, nearly doing back flips in the process. Abby, one of the attorneys, took a photo with her iPhone. The book will probably be in bookstores and available online for purchase in a few weeks. It can be preordered now through Amazon or my publisher. There is also a limited edition hard cover coming out, but I don't have all the details on that yet.

Today over at Inkspot I'm interviewing Terri Bischoff, the acquisitions editor at Midnight Ink, and the one responsible for championing my vampire mystery series. She was with me every step of the way while the book was fast tracked from an idea to the page and now to print.

Living Large and Loving It!

2010-07-28T13:35:00.000-07:00

Back in 2004 a small anthology was published by Draumr Publishing titled Love At Large. It contained a collection of romantic short stories all featuring plus size women. I was asked by my friend Rida Allen, one of the owners of Draumr, if I would write a forward for the book. I did and also wrote a short story for it called "Love Bytes."

Today I received a royalty statement and payment for my story in Love At Large for the first 6 months of 2010. I receive a tiny royalty from that short story every six months like clockwork. My royalties total just shy of $10 a year.

Go ahead and laugh. But a buck’s a buck.

More importantly, that not-quite $10 in royalties is proof that the book is still selling six years later. It’s available in both print and e-book formats. You won’t find it stores, only online, but it’s still out there and still being purchased by readers.

At the time I wrote "Love Bytes," I was at the beginning of my professional writing career and the only book I had out was Too Big To Miss. Now, with eighteen contracts spread across three series, of which six novels are already in print and one on the precipice of launching, I look back on this short story with warmth and fondness. It was one of my first born and it still makes me proud.

I’ve only had two short stories published. The other is "Ho Ho Homicide," an Odelia Grey short story written for a holiday anthology. The proceeds of that book went to charity. I’d like to do more short stories, but with deadlines for books coming at me every four months, it’s just impossible at this time. Instead, I will rejoice in Love at Large and Love Bytes, knowing that my very first short story is still making the rounds.

I guess books are like vampires – barring a stake in the heart, they never really die.

For My Viewing Pleasure

2010-07-24T08:57:00.000-07:00

Spy shows must be the new rage. At least it seems that way to me. I’ve always been a fan of USA’s Burn Notice. It smart, sassy and rather tongue-in-cheek. I love it!

Now USA has released a new show – Covert Affairs. It stars the charming Piper Perabo as a very green CIA agent working out of Langley. The rest of the cast is just as likeable as Perabo, especially Christopher Gorham who plays Auggie, the blind but in no way disabled CIA vet who shows her the ropes There have only been two episodes of Covert Affairs so far and I have enjoyed both. It’s on Tuesday nights at 10, or catch it via On Demand as I do. (A special thank you shout out to USA for making their great shows available on On Demand. Otherwise, I’d hardly ever catch them.)

This fall NBC is releasing Undercovers, a husband and wife spy show by J. J. Abrams (Lost). The teasers for Undercovers hooked me immediately and reminded me of a ramped up Hart To Hart. The spies are played by the equally gorgeous Boris Kodjoe and Gugu Mbatha-Raw as married former CIA agents drawn back into the spy life. The show also stars veteran Gerald McRaney.

I’m sure all these shows have and will receive their share of negative comments, but this is TV fiction folks. It’s escapism, not a documentary, and as with novels, the watcher is expected to suspend a little belief in return for entertainment. So, entertain me!

Last night was a rare night for me. I watched 3 hrs of TV – 3 shows back-to-back: Royal Pains (another fun USA show – a doctor with MacGyver type skills), Burn Notice and The Good Wife (another BIG favorite of mine). BUT, and this is a big but (not to be confused with my big butt), I had already put in quality and productive time on my current manuscript. TV never comes before my writing.

Also coming up soon on my watching radar: the return of Weeds (YAY!) and the premiere of Showtime’s The Big C, both on August 16th, and the return of the fabulous Dexter on September 26th. The Big C stars two of my favorite actors, Laura Linney and Oliver Platt. Gabourey Sidibe also appears on this comedy/drama about a woman rediscovering herself after being diagnosed with cancer.

Another must watch show for me is Drop Dead Diva. If you haven’t seen this Lifetime original series yet, do so. It’s positively charming and has a lot of guest cameos. My favorite is Rosie O’Donnell as a crusty judge. Alas, this show is not on On Demand (wake up Lifetime!), so catching it tends to be a crap shoot. Fortunately, it’s aired on Sunday nights at 9 pm when I’m usually home and done with my writing.

I’m also into the current seasons of True Blood and Top Chef.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, I watch a lot of TV. With my tough writing schedule, I’m sure folks wonder why and how I manage to sit in front of the tube as much as I do. As I mentioned earlier, On Demand aids me in my addiction. Also, I watch during my dinner time.

TV is the perfect unwind activity for me. It requires no effort on my part, unlike reading and physical activities. I just have to put my butt in a chair and focus. But I do only watch about 1 hr a night during the week; maybe 2 if I catch a movie or a special show. On weekends I seldom turn on the TV until Sunday evening. Otherwise, I’d never get anything done. And if I do watch more than an hour, I multi-task with chores I can do in front of the tube.

And just so you don’t think I’m a total tube head – I also read 1 hour a day. I just started reading Insignificant Others by Stephen McCauley.

On My Mark, Get Set - GO!

2010-07-18T22:38:00.000-07:00

Today I began work on my next deadline which is October 1st – 75 days away.

On deck is book 2 of my vampire mystery series. I already have 130 pages done as I always get a jump start on books several months before I actually throw myself into them full-time. I’m very pleased to report that the story is chugging along according to plan, and I'll tell you this much – it’s going to be a rollicking adventure in the Los Angeles vampire community.

Here is the first paragraph:

The dead body floated face down in the pool like an inflatable joke, something meant to scare people at parties and on Halloween. But to Madison Rose’s eye, it didn’t look like some plastic gag. It looked real. Dead real.

Murder In Vein, the 1st book in my new Fang-In-Cheek mystery series, will be out in a few weeks. The launch is scheduled for 5 pm on September 18th at the Mystery Bookstore in Los Angeles. Everyone is invited!!!

Already several great reviews have come out for Murder In Vein, with the one from Kirkus (see below) making me swoon with delight.

Odelia Gray (Corpse on the Cob, 2010, etc.) and Granny Apples (Ghost à la Mode, 2009) have a new cousin: Madison Rose, a human living in Los Angeles’s twilight world of vampires.

Waitress Madison Rose can hardly believe it. First she’s snatched from outside Auntie Em’s Diner by a thug named Bobby. Just as quickly, Bobby is dispatched by two senior citizens who gnaw him to death. That’s because Doug and Dodie Deadham are vampires who’ve been living in quiet luxury in Topanga Canyon. The Deadhams are dead set on finding out who’s been killing people whose palms are marked with faint red bloodlines (the only humans who can be turned into vampires), in part to protect their secret and in part to protect future vamps. For reasons not clear even to Madison, she agrees to help them. Under the direction of centuries-old Samuel La Croix, head of the California Vampire Council, she lets sexy Colin Reddy squire her to clubs where vamp wannabes test their dentist-implanted fangs on willing young flesh, blissfully unaware that the real item is under their stylish noses. Because when real vampires bite, they don’t play, as posers like Lord Wilhelm and Lady Harriet of Dark Tidings soon find out.

Like Stuart Kaminsky, Jaffarian juggles her franchises deftly, giving each a unique voice and appeal. Her latest series kickoff may be her best yet, blending supernatural sexy with down-to-earth sassy.

So watch me run towards October 1st as fast as my fat, stumpy legs and fingers can carry me. After all, with reviews like this, book 2 in the series has a lot to live up to.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SCOUT!

2010-07-11T12:37:00.000-07:00

Today is the 50th anniversary of the publication of Harper Lee’s Pulitzer Prize winning novel To Kill A Mockingbird.

If it were a wedding anniversary, I would be offering up gifts of gold. Instead, it has given me gold.

To Kill a Mockingbird is my favorite novel of all time. I even own a signed copy of the 40th anniversary edition.

There was a period in high school and early college when I read so many of the great American classics, one after the other, and for fun, not for class assignments. In addition to Mockingbird, I remember gobbling up A Tree Grows In Brooklyn, A Member of the Wedding, The Heart is a Lonely Hunter, The Jungle, A Light in the Forest, The Yearling, just to name a few. It was an education that has served me well over the years and definitely influenced both my desire to be a writer and my drive to be one.

I’m going to read To Kill A Mockingbird again this summer, but I’ll have to pick up a paperback. No way am I putting my grubby paws on my signed copy.

Thank you, Harper Lee, for enriching my life ... for giving me gold.

86 Days and Counting...

2010-07-07T06:25:00.000-07:00

Just in case you're wondering, I DID hit my deadline of July 6th for delivering the 6th Odelia Grey novel to my publisher. 6 on 6. Its working title is Murder In Drag. We'll see if that sticks.

I'm taking this week off from writing to clean up my desk, catch up on correspondence, update my website, do some reading, and just simply give the old noggin a well-deserved rest. Then I'm off to the races again with book #2 in my vampire mystery series. Its working title is The Blood That Binds.

The first book in my Fang-in-Cheek mystery series, Murder In Vein, will be out in just 8 weeks! Can you believe it? Seems like just yesterday it was a gleam of madness in my frazzled brain.

The launch party for Murder In Vein is scheduled for September 18th at 5:00 pm at the Mystery Book Store (1036-C Broxton, Los Angeles). I'd love to see you all there. It's gonna be fang-tastic!

Next deadline: October 1st - 86 days away. Piece 'o cake...

I'm celebrating a milestone over at Inkspot today. Come say hello and leave a comment.

Next Stop - DEADLINE JUNCTION

2010-07-03T09:23:00.000-07:00

This chant should really be:

I'd damn well better!

I'd damn well better!

I have just 4 days until I must hurl my latest Odelia Grey manuscript into the black hole of e-mail to my editor. 4 days. 3 full days if you want to get technical.

A deadline is the thorn in the side of every author. We hate writing under pressure - writing ON DEMAND, so to speak. Yet, without deadlines, we would meander and languish over each and every word for days, weeks, months - yea, years - until we felt we had it just right.

Deadlines keep me focused. Deadlines remind me this is a business not unlike Amtrak. There are schedules to keep and people are depending on you. And when the train finally pulls into the station, often there are folks waving hankies with smiles and words of greeting.

I know I can. I know I can. I know I can.

I Love My Beach Baby!

2010-07-01T13:45:00.000-07:00

This just in ... Cover for upcoming Ghost in the Polka Dot Bikini, the 2nd book in the Ghost of Granny Apples mystery series. This book will be released February 2011 and is available now for pre-order.

Out of Focus

2010-07-01T07:05:00.001-07:00

I have a problem. I have become unfocused in the past year, unraveling like a cheap sweater caught on a nail. Driven only by deadlines until I'm nearly mad and ready to drop. It's not the writing's fault, or my publisher's, or even mine. I've simply let things get out of hand until my personal life has become a mess.

Hmmm, well, okay, if there is blame, it's going squarely on the shoulders of the vampires in my upcoming Fang-in-Cheek mystery series, due for release in September. Since I first whispered my idea for this series into my agent's ear last September, my life has been totally out of control and slipping more each day. In the last nine months I have written two complete novels and have fleshed out two others. I've also put the spit and polish on Ghost in the Polka Dot Bikini and Murder In Vein, both being released in the next 6-7 months.

When I agreed to slip a third series into the mix, I believed I could do it. I still believe I can and I have. But I need to get better organized. Writing the books isn't the problem. The day job at the law firm isn't the problem. Those are my two constants. It's everything else in between that seems to have gone to hell in a hand basket, taking my common sense along for the ride.

So, yesterday I decided that today, July 1st, is refocus day. In spite of what it often sounds like, I do waste bucket loads of time. I spend way too many hours playing games on the Internet. Too much time in front of TV. Not nearly enough time getting out of my routine. In the past two months, I've stopped exercising, opening mail, cleaning my house beyond just a lick and a promise, and have neglected friends and social obligations. I can't remember the last time I wore lipstick and mascara. Oh yeah - at BEA in NY. That was in May.

I'm becoming that crazy hermit woman with cats.

This has got to stop. Now. Today. This minute. Welcome July 1st.

I'm making the mother of all To-Do Lists and I'm getting it all done and will have fun doing it - DAMMIT. For starters, before there's time to slip on the banana peel of backsliding, I'm going to have a bowl of oatmeal instead of a donut.

Just 6 days until Odelia #6 is due to my publisher. I'm going to get it done and look and feel good doing it. Watch me!

Getting My Money's Worth

2010-06-27T13:01:00.000-07:00

Whether it be food, clothes or airline tickets, there is nothing I like better than a bargain.

This week I had to replace one of my cats' favorite toys. I remember when I bought it. It was such a hit I even blogged about it ... on October 28, 2007. Yes, you read that right. I blogged about this cool cat toy 2-1/2 years ago. Back then I thought it was the best thing since clumping kitty litter. I've since changed my mind. Now I think it's the best thing since chocolate found its way to America. Well, okay, maybe it's not THAT good, but close.

Over the years my cats have totally demolished the poor little mouse on this gizmo. First he lost his tail. That took all of a few days. Then it was an ear. Then the other ear. In the end the poor little gray thing hardly had any fur left on its golf ball sized body and the metal arm on which he rode was bent until it wouldn't turn smoothly. I'd even straightened it a few times. In the time it has resided in a primo spot on the floor near my computer, this toy has been played with every single day, several times a day. B especially loves it and bats the mouse around the track for large chunks of time. It's the only toy she plays with consistently.

But alas, with so much abuse, the only humane thing to do was to send the battered little stuffed mouse to a happy resting place.

This silly toy cost me $12.99 nearly 3 years ago. Guess what it cost today? Go ahead, guess.

$9.97

That's right - it's not only the best freaking cat toy in the world but it went down in price instead of up, unlike everything else.

When I brought out the new Cat 'n Mouse, I could have sworn B's eyes lit up and she actually danced a little jig.

19 Days and Counting (YIKES!)

2010-06-17T07:06:00.001-07:00

You know what today is? Today is the day I start digging really, really, really deep for my writing reserve energy. Nineteen days from today, the manuscript for Odelia Grey book #6 is due.

Oh yeah, you read that right - 19 days!!!

And I'm no where close to being finished.

Right now the working title for the book is Body Bingo, but I've learned not to get too attached to book titles. They have a way of changing from the time the manuscript hits my editor's desk to the time the book is returned to me with editorial suggestions. And usually the titles they pick are the best, so I'm not worried.

I've been working hard on the manuscript ever since I returned from my last book trip. And after a stall a few weeks ago, it's now up and singing its heart out like a finalist on American Idol. It's moving quickly. (YAY!!!) But I still have a long way to go. More importantly, I'm really having fun with it and love the direction the book has taken. It's a joy to work on. Which is a good thing, because except for when I'm at the law firm, that's pretty much all I'll be doing between now and July 6th.

Well, I do have dinner plans with Juliet Blackwell, Sophie Littlefield and Pop Culture Nerd this Saturday evening. But a gal's gotta eat, so why not dine surrounded by great, charming and witty company - right?

BTW - Juliet and Sophie will be talking about their new books this Saturday at 3 pm at the Mystery Book Store in Westwood. Come on down and have some fun.

After Body Bingo gets turned it, next up will be vampire book #2 and the first 100 pages of Granny Apples #3. The vampires are getting restless and I have to keep batting them out of my brain while I work on Odelia. They don't share well, but at least they're not showing signs of hunger. The working title for the second vampire mystery is The Blood That Binds. The working title for Granny Apples #3 is Ghost of a Gamble. I have the story line all figured out, but still need to do some research. I want to get that rolling so if my publisher decides to put the first chapter or so in the back of Ghost in the Polka Dot Bikini (coming out Feb. 2011), I'll have it ready.

So if you don't see me around the Net for awhile, don't worry, I'm okay. I'm just glued to my computer and my manuscript(s).

19 Days - Shoot me now - Better yet, shoot me on July 7th. I'll have a bit of time then.

Raising a Toast to Abby Sunderland's Parents

2010-06-15T12:21:00.000-07:00

Like a lot of folks, I've been following the story of Abby Sunderland, the 16-yr-old from Thousand Oaks, California, who set out this year to be the youngest person to sail around the world solo. If you've been following Abby's journey, you know that she ran into trouble in the past week and her beloved boat, Wild Eyes, was lost. Abby was rescued, is safe, and on her way home. YAY!

I first remember reading about Abby when she started her journey. Since then, every now and then, I'd check in on her website or blog and see what she was up to. I also remember months ago thinking how could her parents allow a 16 yr old girl to travel the world alone on a small boat. Don't get me wrong, I certainly don't judge or condemn them for it. In fact, I applaud them. I just didn't understand how they could let her go knowing any number of things might befall her.

I don't have children and I don't pretend to know what parents go through when sending their children out into the world, whether it be on a sailboat or to college. But I am keenly aware of all the horrible things that can happen to young people as they step out on their own. One need only think of Joran Van der Sloot to get cold shivers.

But this I do know:

It takes real guts, knowing the evils that lurk in the world, to let children go. To let them be themselves and pursue their dreams, even if their dreams take them around the world, alone, on a 40-ft water craft. Only in being allowed to spread their wings can young people become the people they are meant to be and fulfill their dreams and goals. It's a fact that dreams need wings to fly.

So here's to you, Abby. You may not have completed your journey, but you have touched my heart with your courage, and I know this is not the last we'll hear of you. Go grab the world by the tail, dear. You deserve it.

And here's to you, Abby's parents, and to your nerves of steel and selflessness in letting your little girl take flight.